The Kate Effect

Artsy Fartsy

I taught Kate the phrase Artsy Fartsy. Definitely regretting that one. She is using quite often. Mostly to refer to me. 

This is a little portrait Kate did of me and her...adorable.

Below is my watercolor picture of my orange mixer. I love that appliance. Technically the color is persimmon which makes all the difference.

 

Vacation Jar

It's been just over a month since our vacation to the Florida beaches and I finally sat down to put  our Vacation Jar together. I saw this idea on Pinterest and I could not wait to make one for Kate's first visit to the beach. I am glad I spotted the idea before leaving on vacation so that we could keep our eyes out for interesting items to bring back - otherwise it might have just been one shell. Not even two shells - just one.

Thankfully I had the idea floating in my brain and when we spotted the little crab and sea urchin all dried up we scooped them up and CAREFULLY go them home. This was not easy.

I love the simplicity of the whole thing. The jar is a vintage Ball jar that I picked up in Round Top (a bi-annual antique fair here in Texas - it's huge, like most things in Texas).  The photos are from her first day at the beach in Florida. There is one photo with the wave receded and on the other side is the same photo only the tide has come in over her feet. I hope to never forget her in that sweet striped swimsuit.

I purchased three more jars and I am already planning our next vacation. Wouldn't a shelf of vacation jars be awesome?!?

heres the crab the day we found it.

Round Top + Baby for Sale, Will Barter

Round Top. I don't even know where to begin. I used to think it was a "antique fair" - a big one. Then I realized it was a city in Texas, which has an antique "event". After years of missing the chance to go I finally made it to "Round Top" and learned that the more literal translation is: Miles and miles of tents filled with junk + old stuff from all over the country spanning multiple small towns on a two lane road. 

WHOA. It was like the best mixture of heaven and hell on earth. Hellish due to the heat, dust, allergies - not to mention the traffic on a two lane road in rural Texas. Heavenly because as long as you have great company for the traffic - the miles and miles of junk + old stuff is AMAZING.

My two buddies and I headed out on the last day of 'Round Top' and spent lovely hours wandering around. I was too busy spying things to even photograph it. I was smitten with this 8 ft windmill that I desperately wanted to bring home - but in the end sanity won out when Brad reminded me by phone (yes, i called him to ask if I could get it) that I did not have enough cash, man power or transportation to take it home. Have no fear. I will remedy all of these things before April - then I will go back to Round Top and buy myself a windmill.

Along the way we found this cute baby one the ground. We think it was a marketing trick to draw attention tot he items for sale closer to the ground. We almost fell for the trick when we stopped and kneeled - drawn in by the cuteness and concern for such a fragile creature amongst so much rusted metal. Then we saw the tag. $28. seriously. I told the girls we could haggle the seller down a little more and purchase the infant but they were not confident in my bargaining skills.

  

Yes, I am kidding you.

The baby is sweet Nash my friends newest addition. He did wonderfully while we dug for treasure.

In the end I came home with metal R, a makeup case - which was a steal, a HUGE pull down school map that will soon be mounted on the schoolroom wall....and a few other little things. Success. 

and they grow-up so fast.

savoring the little girl she is today.

The Nephew

nephews are just awesome. thats all I have to say today.

a day at the beach

  

 

a day at the beach via iphone.

** the pic of Kate with the chicken nugget - she is showing me that her chicken nugget is shaped like Florida **

the last of a season

I just sent these DVDs to my last bride. For the time being I am closing up the photography shop so that I can focus on this amazing adventure I am beginning with Kate. It is terribly bittersweet. I am sure I will continue to photograph anything and everything I can but for now I say goodbye to weddings, bridal parties, newborns and seniors. I love you all very much but simply put - I love my Kate a little more.

To the Beach!

The Florida Vacation/Family Reunion is upon us and I am furiously packing. What should I bring? What to leave behind!?! It's so hard.

This trip will have a lot of adult and Kate will be the only kid - I am prone to bring a lot activities for her - LOTS of activities. But then again we will be at the beach and we might very well spend ALL our time making sandcastles. 

I do want to bring school work....reading, writing, math... since we will have plenty of time. But we will also have our toes in the ocean - how will we concentrate? 

On the other hand we have been studying the ocean and what better time to study but while we are at the beach. There are so many hands on things to do!

Now I have a full suitcase but no clothing or toiletries are inside it. ugh.

notebooks paper shirt

I have been wanting to do this shirt FOREVER. I first saw a version of this a year ago on a blog and immediately thought - awesomeness. I bought two white tees for kate - both a little bigger than her size because I know myself. Sometimes it takes a little while for me to have the time to make my ideas realized and I didn't wan the shirt to be too small by the time I actually made it. This gave me at least a year of procrastination. I bought two shirt so i would have a chance to immediately redeem myself if I screwed-up the first one.

Then I thought about it. I considered how to do it... would I paint, draw or ink it. Should I measure everything out first....What kind of ink would not wash out and fade quickly? I want it worn but to last too.

This is not my normal tendency - usually I just jump in but I was trying to be "wise". In the meantime the photo form the original blog I saw swept through the blog-o-spere and Pinterest. Now everyone liked the idea and surely many people were doing their own shirts.

ugh. now I am just being trendy. 

So I shelved the project and let alot of life happen.

Yesterday I found the shirts while sewing and did what I should have done int he first place. JUST DID IT. It did help that I had fabric markers on hand this time. 

And I really like it - really really really like it. Now I have a bunch of other ideas. Thats what happens when you give life to and idea....it spawns. 

99 Pinterest followers.... what?

 

 

A good friend approached me today and said she had seen my Pinterest boards and loved them....to which I blushed at appropriately - partly because i was truly honored that she liked what she saw and mostly because I knew that her compliment would be followed with a comment about how MUCH or OFTEN I pin. 

Which she did comment about but in a sweet friendly way.

I admit that if I see it - I pin it. 

*********if you are reading this and thinking "what in the world is Pinterest?" *************

*************Click on the link below to get the Pinterest 101 *************

http://pinterest.com/about/help/

But I will also like to state that I do not sit and peruse Pinterest for hours on end Re-pinning (mostly because I have a timer I set so I do not pin-away the hours). Do you hear it? The slight defensiveness and justifying. I come from a long line of justifiers. 

I do love to "pin" and I love using it as a tool to really book mark my ideas. I am incredibly visual - it the way I process the world around me - and Pinterest gives me a way to store and collect images and ideas very similarly to the way I imagine my brain to collect the thoughts. 

It's my favorite way to discover an emerging style I am working on and organize my want to do desires....and to simply share it with other. I love looking at the boards and seeing the collecting of photos and getting the big picture. 

The book-marklet helps me pin things all over the web super quick which is probably why I have close to 2000 pins. 

I use it for recipes, project for Kate's school work, books  I want/have read, style board for each room of my house....

After my friend mentioned it  I thought I might pop on my board and was shocked to see I have 99 people "following" me. What? Who are these people? I had no idea. I have been so busy using it for my sole purpose I had no idea I had more than the hand full of followers I started with... the ones I convinced to join in the first place. 

More shocking was the 38 "boards" and the 1788 "pins"  - which may grow by the time to you read the post. WHOA. Those are not super high numbers - but they do represent a good chunk of time.

All of this has inspired me to do a few things.

- Make a REAL collage. I haven't done this in a while and it 's about time to bring this virtual thing into my real touchable world. I get back to you on the subject of the collage and process later.

- Start tackling the projects I pin. The list of ideas is long enough and I am spending more time organizing ideas that realizing them. Time get down and dirty with these projects.

- Challenge myself with interesting boards - most of what i do is super useful - but what if I did a board labled: God's Love at Work or Sadness...  Then I could pin things I interrupt to fit in the label...basically and artsy virtual collage...

- Ask myself often : Who am I following...is it a style board or my Father in Heaven? Am I looking to see what someone else is pinning or avidly looking what awesome thing God is doing in the lives around me? Who is following me in real life and where and I leading them? 

Alright - there you have it, another thing to add to my list of vices : Pinterest.

You can check out my pins here: 

http://pinterest.com/carriedanna/

* There is no sign-up requirement to look at pin boards.

in the weeds.

 

I did it.

For a while now I have been looking out my kitchen window to see a patch of weeds near the back of the fence. It's a nice little round patch with a small snake-like trail of weeds winding into the thickest part of our healthy grass. Today I began to root-out those weeds.

My parents bought a little pallet of grass for Brad as his Father's Day gift. I thought it was a really appropriate gift for a guy who just moved into a new home and now owns a yard to pamper and a garage to tool around in.  Brad carefully placed the grass around the yard to make the most of the pallet,hoping to fill in the barest portions of the lawn.

Since that day he has trimmed and thinned the trees so the sunlight could reach the grassy areas. In the evenings he sits in the chair he made himself and waters special portions of the grass with a tiny sprinkler I had bought for Kate to play in. We actually have a sprinkler system that runs on a schedule but Brad is determined to obey the watering restriction with the sprinkler system and baby his grass by hand in the evenings. Texas is the middle of a drought - which means it is hotter than hades and rain has been distant memory. 

For weeks I have glanced out the window and thought I should go pull all the weeds gathering int he middle. I know this would shock Brad because I am not terrible fond of the task. It would also bless him. In my mind I can imagine the weed patch growing... by the fall it would be taking over our small yard. I imagined having Kate help. How picturesque it would be to sit out there together chatting about nature and working together. 

Day by day, I would glance out the window thinking about all of these things but do nothing. I even put it on my To Do List but it was never done - never crossed off. I finally mentioned something to Brad thinking that I would follow through if I told him I planned to pull weeds. Brad said he would just spray them - that it was too hot for pulling weeds by hand. He had been very busy lately and had not been sitting out to water or do any yard work but the absolute HAVE to do tasks. 

He did not spray, whether due to time/money/exhaustion I do not know, and I noticed that what I imagined was actually happening. The weeds were spreading. The patch growing ever so slightly bigger. The small trail slithering a little longer - widening just a little.

But I was busy. I was overwhelmed. My life was in the weeds. Even more so, my brain was "in the weeds".

"In the weeds" is a term I learned while waiting tables. It meant I had too many tables or maybe too many orders or too many things to do at once. It meant you were behind - not because you neglected something or were lazy - but because you simple had too many "has to happen NOW" things at one time. Often it was out of your control. It was a bombardment of expectations. Often times you switch from consolidating and choosing the item that was best to be done first.... to choose which item you would rather be terribly late in doing or not do at all....

These were the times you needed help because you were in the weeds and had no capacity to help others. These were the times you hoped that those you had helped in their time of need would come to your aide.

Thats where I have been since May... thats where my brain has been since may. In the weeds. 

So many things to do, handle, decide, finish, attend to, cope with. But all I wanted to do was pull weeds with my daughter. It's funny how when your 'in the weeds' - the tasks you hate most look so wonderful and peaceful.

But today.....we pulled weeds. And it was glorious. 

 We chatted about everything from Adam and Eve to Kung Fu Panda. We practiced our vowel sounds and sang and learned about fungus which we found on some old leaves. It was just an hour of work but it was great for my mind, body and grass. 

There was a brief moment when I almost felt guilty or disappointed that I had not stopped and done this sooner, but I grabbed that thought and threw it far from my mind. Today was the perfect day for this task. It was one of the first days in weeks there was a little cloud cover so that the morning was bearable and the heat not so stifling. Kate was in such a sweet compliant mood, attacking the weeds and conversation with equal intensity. Thankfully my mind was free from any lists or 'to do' list, so it was able to jump from one subject to the next like skipping rocks on a lake.

The timing was perfect.

Maybe tomorrow I will share all the tidbits of learning that happened while sitting in the wet morning grass. It's amazing how many thoughts you can have when your not busy thinking other peoples thoughts and planning ahead. Simply amazing.

 

little old lady cart.

 
this is my fantastic goodwill find of the week.... or month even. I have never been so jazzed about a find. This little rolling cart cost a whopping $4 and is adorable as all get out. It seems quite red-ish in the photos but it real-life it's a wonderful dark melon-ish color. which is a double score since that has been a hot color for a while now - seriously - when have you EVER seen a melon little old lady cart?

We call it the little old lady cart because Kate immediately asked me why I bought a "little old lady cart" when I pulled it out of my trunk. I found it amusing since Kate is all of 5 years old and live in the suburbs of Austin, Texas. When & where she would have been to form that stero-type - is beyond me. But regardless it is appropriate and fitting. 

I knew it was meant for me when I saw it across the cluttered aisles. I have been trying to devise the perfect Library book bag/box/system at the house ....and I was failing miserably. bags are heavy hard to carry and do not look great plopped around. Books are forgotten about and never read if said bag is stored out of sight in closet. The family is too busy to be putting books from bag to box or other storage area.... and when they are put near the reading chair in a nice looking well organized manner.... well they never get returned on time. 

The little old lady cart is going solve it. the books get put in the cart at the library and rolled to the car - saving everyones back and shoulders - then wheeled from the car to the reading nook. When it's time to head back to the library ... just grab the handle and go. 

Seriously, it's a lifesaver. With the our school year fast approaching and our current checkout averaging at 22 books....it's going to be used ALOT.

*PS it folds flat too - oh my love only grows for my little old lady cart.

broomballin'

Our youth got challenged to a broom-ball game by another youth group and we totally took the challenge! It was an awesome afternoon - full of misfitting helmets, handmade shirts, and LOTS of falling.

here's the cheering section: 

kate her friend where more interested int he ipad games...

actually kate really wanted to be on the ice but being on the ice during the game was CLEARLY not a good place for a 5 year old...we tried. 

yes that is me - with one of the last few helmets available...you HAD to wear a helmet to be on the ice...so i grabbed the bungie cord from the car to keep the shell of plastic on my head. it did NOT protect my head from bouncing on the ice.

i didn't think i would have so much fun, I prayed enough kids would come that i would not HAVE to play. but i found myself wanting to play so bad. i traded my camera for a stick and was having a blast until i went to defend and looked up to see Brad - Normally I would wait for the other team to hit the ball and I would block/intercept it - but this was BRAD - i couldn't let him get to the ball. So I went for it and went for it a little too hard. 

Lost my footing and my feet FLEW out from under me.  Landed flat on my back bouncing my head on the ice a few times. nice.

this freaked kate out a little.

and this is why Brad and I should play on the same team and not against each other. my head stopped hurt fairly quickly but my neck and upper back are quite sore. 

yay for broom-ball. yay for jimmy-rigged helmets. yay for ice in your pants.

 

 

egg drop soup + lettuce wraps

tonight I whipped up some lettuce wraps and some egg drop soup - and it was SO VERY YUMMY!

I was happy it tasted good and even more thrilled that it was super easy.  of course I had to share the food love and post the recipe links. I am currently moving so I my cookbooks and recipes are nicely packed away. To build me grocery list I have been using a site called Photograzing.seriouseats.com -it's perfect for extremely visual people like me. Brad can simple read a recipe and tell if it "sounds" good but I do not have that skill. On the other had - I can drool over beautifully crafted photos of food all day. This new way of sifting through possible recipes via photos has been appropriately coined on the web " Food Porn".

Both of these insanely easy recipes were found on Photograzing.

Here are a few adaptations or tips:

*I used sugar-free honey on the Lettuce Wrap sauce and it worked really well - plus it help me cut the sugar out which makes me happy. 

* Make extra sauce because it goes great on salads.

* I actually had not carrot int he house but I did have some cabbage+red cabbage+carrot mix I had chopped up for coleslaw - so I threw that into the chicken lettuce wrap mix and sliced some mushrooms up. I worked great! 

* I also did not have almonds *grrr* but I really wanted the nutty crunch so I threw in a small handful of chopped pecans I had - worked wonderfully. Tasted like Pei Wei lettuce wraps and we basically liked the bowl.

* I could NOT find walnut oil - have you ever seen this? - so i used olive oil. Also worked fine. Makes me wonder what it would be like with Walnut Oil.

 

Source: thelittlekitchen.net via Carrie on Pinterest

Source: jamiecooksitup.blogspot.com via Carrie on Pinterest

mrs. independant

it seems life with a five year old is even more full of power struggles than life with a pack of bull-headed dogs. everything is "why do i have to do it YOUR way?" "I don't want to be like you!" " I want to do it for myself!"  "I can do it. I can do it! I don't need your help."

Thankfully this seems to be waning just a little. It's amazing to me - especially since I have been encourager of independence and am usually the one to encourage her to "be her own person". Sometime it baffles me when she says " I don't want to be like you!"  - Since when did I ask you too? 

In my mind I see myself and how I did the same thing - how I spit out the same words - how my mom at times replied: "It's not MY way tot clean the toilet, it's RIGHT way to clean the toilet." 

She was right - but I was just so hell bent to be different.

And then I realize how I do this everyday in my conversations with God. How I fuss about wanting to be unique, how I want to follow his will..... But half of my day is spent spinning circle in my mind about the way things 'should be done' or how I 'need to be different'.

Simultaneously I can thank the Lord for knowing Kate is right on target and that God is good + gracious.

Here is the product of a "I can do this myself" moment.

v is for violet.

i had the pleasure of cuddling a friend newborn for a brief moment this weekend. she was tiny + warm.

surprisingly, as cute as she was - i was happy to hand her off for the changing duties. it's nice to remember how little they are when they arrive - It's equally nice to go home and recognize  how grow up and independent they have become! 

Happy Birthday Violet - here's to years & years of yawning, sleeping, and screaming your head off!

measuring up.

just had Christmas in April! 

Mom gifted my sister-in-law and i Cirque Du Soeil tickets but the show wasn't until April.

So we have been patiently waiting to spend the day together and enjoy some amazing acrobatics. 

What we didn't expect was the mini shopping spree and fondue time. Spoiled, yes. 

I had a great time just enjoying my mom and sister-in-law!  The bonus is every time I see my finds

from the day I think about how special my family is to me.

I picked up these awesome measuring spoons and measure cups. I love their nostalgic look!

I also managed to score some of the teacup bracelets I have been eye-ing for TWO YEARS!

They were steal too.

I will have to take a picture of the ceramic strawberry and blueberry baskets I got as well... I can not

see to find them online. My future kitchen is styling already!

bad day.

this is what a bad day looks like. 

kate and I had been at each other all day - just plain cranky. and I was trying to finish up my gift for brad for valentines...which needed to be sweet but free since he got me a killer gift and i had no budget. 

all day long i worked on compiling photos and loading them onto the photo frame that I was no longer using for biz stuff ... and finishing up a fantastic graphic I made just for him. it would be something original and something I made just for him and free because I already had the frame.

then it happened. 

kate tripped over the cord which made the frame fling off the table and the glass shatter into pieces.

so there we are both in tears which turned into giggles.... 

we ended up taking all the glass out of the frame and the screen still worked - all was fine. 

In the end kate's crayon drawing got MANY more raves than my awesome graphic work. Moral of the story: paper doesn't shatter and crayon drawings are way faster. Keep it simple next time.

Raspberry Bites

I recently co-hosted a baby shower and had the grandest ideas. 

but everything fell apart (on my side of things). everything.

the cake was going to be a four layer Ombre Pink Cake with white frosting... So cute and simple. I had actually made the cake once before so I knew it would a winner. 

I began making gum-ball bracelets as a sweet guest favor.

I attempted homemade hummus - WITHOUT a food processor - which is crazy. 

Bunting of glittered letters would announce the theme and set the tone....

 

The first attempt at the cake fell off the counter while being frosted, the second attempt at the cake cracked in two after being layered. There were more guest than favors and the store ran out of gum-balls. Then the hummus was ruined by a meddling five year old and the the bunting letters got torn....

everything fell apart.

So I bought the cake + hummus, ate the gum-balls, and I trashed the bunting.

All that survived were the raspberry brownie bites. 

The shower went great - just the way it should and I am glad I was able to just let all the ideas and plans go. After all,  paying attention to the guest of honor was the important part... and all the oooh+ahhhs over the cutest bake in the world would have just been distracting.  

a locket, a cheese, & snitch

Kate got a cute little locket for valentine's from my mom. It's just a little cheap metal locket with gold paint from Walgreens - a trinket in her valentines gift bag - but she TREASURES it. 

I tried to take a quick snapshot of her but she was refusing - Finally she says "Mom, I will smile once - i hope you catch it." 

Ha! I did catch it you little mischief maker!

I shouldn't be so surprised that she loves her locket. I also received a locket for Valentines! 

Brad gave me a Snitch! I really love it. Now everyday I have this huge dilemma of figuring out whether to wear my awesome photo album locket from my mom or my Snitch. Such decisions!

accidental trendy buy

a few months ago I was perusing my favorite re-sale haunts. I go about every other month and stock up on awesome heels and sometimes pick up a few accessories. On this particular stop i found two pair of killer shoes. each pair about $9 - which was amazing. as i was leaving I saw this little wallet and i just loved it's style and color. 

not flashy - a little retro but not really...it was about $5 so i threw it in at the very last minute.

ok so the photo is not great but I am posting on the fly here...

it's a grey little leather wallet that folds over - the fabric pocket/lining is grey with teal...

lovely, right. 

it's been sitting on my dresser waiting for me to clean out my purse and current wallet.

then i click on to Facebook today and see this....

Anthropolgie is having a big gift giving promo with the very same wallet. granted they are suede with a little ruche-ing  - but they are the same wallet, made by the same people.

i feel like I unwittingly gave myself a christmas present....for $5. plus my wallet is way cuter.

happy accidental trendy buy.

*photos from anthropologie

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/index.jsp?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-2010_Anthropologie-_-Gifts%20For%20Everyone-_-Gift%20Landing

 

 

out with the old and in with the new.

today i found an email from my lovely cousin, all it said was: I got your back! 

and it had this link:

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/collections/tips-for-filling-your-cupboards-with-character-128562

*photo from apartment therapy

oh how I love her for sending this to me. It was very confirming after giving away all the dishes and committing to find new wonderful dishes. Just as the author of the above article, I too have set out on my own journey to create a personal collection of dishes. 

So far I have not bought one item - but I am ok with that. I am taking it slow and enjoying the search.

brad is not as patient but then again his paper plate folded the other day as he walked to the table and deposited his dinner on the floor. i can understand his frustration but i cannot be swayed to buy yet.

 

*previous post- http://thekateeffect.typepad.com/the_kate_effect/2010/09/give-it-away-give-it-away-give-it-away-now.html

give it away, give it away, give it away now.

I gave away all my dishes. yep. all of them.

plates, bowls, glasses.

I had a couple of different styles that went from "works great for us" to "not really great'" to "i really don't like these" over the past few years. I keep saying I want new ones. it's on the list. but the list is long and there are more important things to aquire.

then monday came and I opened the cabinets. suddenly i HAD to get them out of the house. I had to organize the kitchen and create some space. four boxes and a trip to Goodwill later  - I have a very clean and empty cupboard.  TONS of room for new dishes.

Brad says we are eating on paper plates until christmas or until someone buys us new dishes. he sounds a little bitter. thats ok, i know have 50% less dish washing to do for the next three months. awesome.

maybe today I will give away the silverware.

 

building a library.

 

a long time ago one of my mentors told me "Sell your bed, buy a book"

i loved that saying and i kept all the books I was ever given. After moving around a billion times over the past few years i learned that not every book was worth packing and unpacking. I started dropping off books at Goodwill and sellingbooks to Half-Price books and just getting rid on the ones I was done with...

It was like one extreme to another. I read a book and then gave it away. Rather than buy a book I borrowed from the library or read online. no material trace on ever having held the book in my hand.

Now I think I have come back to middle ground. I am sad about my small collection of literature and realize that I want a library but a library of books I love not just books I have for no reason.

It is only the bginning but I am of to a nice start.  I have filled in the missing pieces of my Harry Potter Novels and I have managed to replace my favorite paperback books with their hardback versions. Dust covers? forget it.

I want to see the spine and the gold lettering.

I am enjoying the rebuilding process - especially now that I have been alive long enough to have a list of favorites to acquire.

right now anthropologie (and a few other places) have classics in beautiful hardbacks. visiting anthropologie and caressing the covers gets creepy if it's more than a weekly activity so i have to just pine for them via the website.

I also have library cards! yes, old school cards that live in the book until it is borrowed. it's my favorite thing about having good books. Sharing.

What are your favorite books? 

The ones you want in hardback - all stained and worn pages?

 

as close to a family photo as we can get.

so i admit it sort of feels like home.

selling our old house and moving out was a goal for such a long time that I think I was a little unprepared when it actually happened. suddenly I found myself released from what felt like captivity only to grieve the loss of it. not so much the house it's self, that was completely worth loosing. it was the address change. one minute I am living in round rock and the next I writing cedar park in the return address - yikes! when did that happen.

i don't know why it was such a shocker. round rock is nice and all but it's no Beverly Hills. cedar park is a really nice area - it's just so grown up in my mind. it's where people move when the have careers and babies. It's like family mecca.

oh wait. i have a kid and family. my husband has a career and I have my own business....oh yeah, i forgot that part. i am still in denial. I mean in cedar park moms stay at home and drive SUVs.

um, ... i work from home and kate chills with me. but my car is NOT an SUV. although we did just trade the two-door Jeep in for a four-door Jeep so i could actually fit groceries and clients in it.

ok, ok, ok, i am grown up. i kind of fit here. I can yearn for a downtown loft all I want but I am destined to live cedar park. 

if truth be told - it's growing on me. today, i ran into three people i know while grocery shopping. I actually said, "see you tonight! do you need me to bring anything?" like I was in Mayberry or something. I also ran into a friend at the post office and I walk every other night with some friends in the neighborhood. technically it's there neighborhood since I am still in denial and living in an apartment of the VERY edge of cedar park.

it's nice though. home-y and neighbor-ly. i might get used to this. don't get excited - i said 'might'.

 

the long and the short of it.

I am growing my hair out.

hey now, I can hear you laughing !?! do you not have faith in me?

it's driving me insane right now. I I have a duck mullet & mushroom head look - AT THE SAME TIME. Plus i have bangs i cut myself. and yes, that does mean they are NOT straight.

laugh all you want but I have hopes and dreams. visions of myself with a lovely ponytail.

ponytail and bangs. you can pray for self-control on my part until I reach my goal, if you can stop giggling long enough to say "Dear Jesus..."

sew it begins.

it's been a while since I have had a clear vision for a project. the general desire to create has never left but the direction has been lacking and I have been quite aimless, wandering from one unfinished half-hearted project to the next.

then this arrived: 

my mom gave me Serger for my birthday. Hurray for turning 30! 

For those of you who might think this looks like a mid-evil torturing device - I assure you it is not meant to be. Having said that we have named it CHOMPER. Its a type of sewing machine that compliments your regular sewing machine. If you turn a garment inside out and see that cool looking seam that shows that it is professionally made and usually store bought - well, this machine creates that seam. 

it's quite magical.

with it's powers in my hand I have new designs and thoughts and a fresh pile of fabric to sew through. in 2008 I did a Handmade Christmas. It was more about the challenge of sewing everything for everyone rather than giving gifts they were really wanted. It was a huge time commitment and a little stressful. 2009 was the year I did not make anything for Christmas - hail consumerism!

This year I would like to do a mixture. I work best when I don't HAVE to do some thing but I WANT to. It's true in every part of my life. (yes, please do feel bad for my husband - it has a difficult wife.)  

So I have started on projects I have dreamed up and am excited about. It's been a week and I have an empty shelf in my closet that has been christened the giving shelf. It will hold all the things I have to give - made & bought. Somethings are for Christmas which is still months away, other items are for birthday and celebrations around the corner... and some gifts are made because I just wanted to.  Baby or wedding gifts with someone specific in mind but no baby or husband in sight. A graduation gift for a kiddo still in elementary school - but his name is on it and there is will stay. The shelf is filling up fast.

it's fun to sew up hopes and dreams and store them away. It's way better than things that NEED to be made. Oh, and to make things so much more enjoyable are these tags by Amy Karol. They are a little cheeky and I like that.

where my shoes end up.

i wear heels when i shoot weddings. seems ridiculous to most. i get numerous questions and a few "your the bravest woman I know" comments every time I strut into a chapel with my heels and camera.
the truth is - it's a lot easier to toss a pair of heels in a corner than it is to untie a pair of decent shoes.

I find myself climbing on rock walls or tip-toeing down isles too often to mess with shoes of more substance. Plus my feet tend to hurt like the dickens when I wear flat footed or even sneaker style shoes for 12 hours straight.

good pair of heels give me those few extra inches I desperately need when I want to feel & look a tad professional - without sacrificing the freedom to go barefoot with abandon.

Unfortunately there is a down side.
1) I stepped on gum barefoot while shooting family shots at a wedding last month - yuck.
2) Sometimes I can't remember where I left my shoes - like the photo below... i was looking for my shoes to go outside and grab some 'the church' shots during the ceremony, only to discover I left my heels at the first pew when I realized they were going to echo in the cathedral.
3) I stepped on a lit sparkler barefoot while elbowing a guest and fighting for my spot as the Bride and Groom made there exit. It gets quite dirty at the end of a wedding when I HAVE to get the shot and tipsy guest trample me.

shoes: can't live with them, can't live with out them.

dear val, your the best. love, me

 

in a previous blog i listed my current want list... my cousin is amazing and sent me one of them!

Oh how I love her. I love that she sent it via the mail even though she would see me the SAME day. I love mail and she knows it. Which is kind of funny since she is the one who wrote me letters when we were kids. I was the one who never put stamps and forgot to mail my letters- then I would bring her a stacks of old letters that were never sent when I visited...

thanks to her I am much better at mailing things as an adult. Now if I could just be better about returning phone calls.

thanks Val - your the best.

chasing my creative sanity

sometimes I just have to stop whatever I am doing and create. my brain will be so full of ideas, thoughts, and plans that I can no longer function without making something and clearing my head of the idea.
Although my job is pretty creative in nature it is still a job.
A small business. A business I own. All by myself.
Which means that there is a lot more time being NOT creative than actually being crazy wild artistic. I find I spend the majority of my weeks pushing the hold button on great ideas and thoughts while I get through the HAVE TO DO list. At some point I just can not think clearly. I have to wade through a sea of things in my head that I do not want to forget and desperately want to do - just to remember to make the bed.

These are the moments I have to stop and chase my creative sanity.
I did this last night - chased my creative sanity.
My medium this time was fabric. I have all these unfinished thoughts and projects and I tackled them head on.
I can not begin to tell you how pleased I am!!
I made two skirts and two simple dresses I have been thinking about forever. Then I whipped out four pillows and 5 tissue paper flowers for my upcoming party. It was definitely worth staying up all night. Bonus: I also got caught up on Project Runway which was fun to watch while actually sewing.

I am so anxious to photograph the skirts and dresses to show them off!!!
But first I must shower - and the pillows need stuffing... and some HAVE TO DO list items are screaming for attention. It's back to the grind today. I am completely exhausted but my head is clear and ready for new ideas and thoughts to pop in.

photos soon - i promise.

collecting baggage

for my best friend started looking for my 30th birthday present months and months ago. this is one of the many reasons she is my best friend. while waiting for my birthday she managed to buy & move into a house and began to grow a child in her belly - the first of many i presume she will have. we all know that growing a child makes a woman a little more eccentric than usual. 

my best friend mis-placed part of my gift. there were many phone calls about how she was so anxious to give me my gift but so very upset that she could not find half of it. while she was wringing her hands over this lost item I was conjuring up possibilities of what this item would be....

was it a lamp with a missing shade? was it a wind sock with no hook to hang it up? was it the most ravishing pair of shoes that ever existed but now only had the right foot?

it was quite a fun game but I never let on I was playing it. 

a few weeks before my birthday, best friends little boy decided to make a grand entrance. I hopped in the car and drove the 2.5 hours to her house - fully expecting to meet her at the hospital since she had been laboring all day. Instead i arrived at her house to find her mid contraction. they were 5 minutes apart. 

that is when she sat me down and had me open my birthday gifts. In between contractions. it was hysterical!! 

She was hell bent on making sure she gave the gifts and watched me open them. in between contractions.

By the time the gift giving was done her contractions were at 3 minutes apart and we were all climbing into our cars and heading to the hospital.

From this point on, when she says she is NOT doing something until i arrive or she has accomplished something - i believe her.

She gave me an antique little suitcase which has found new life as my mail/outbox. i love it.

Three vintage sewing patterns - which i also love. And a sugar mold which I have been coveting. Sugar molds are ... well, it's hard to explain so i will photograph it soon and get back to you. 

for those of you who are curios about what I picked up with those Anthropologie gift cards... here are my little treasures:

   

 
 i love opening my fridge and seeing things in pretty dishes and bowls - all organized - the egg holder makes it that much better. And the butter dish is  a life saver - it holds half stick which is what I buy most often and it is opaque so you can't see how Kate and I have mangled the butter. Our previous butter dish was clear glass and always a mess. 

Most of all I LOVE my new rice bowls. They are exactly what i wanted. Still trying to find the teacups I want. I may just have to order them online since the Anthropologies here do not have them. I enjoy it more when I actually get to buy them in person and walk around with the little bag - but getting things in the mail is equally exciting.

 It's been a great birthday month so far and there is still a party to come!!!

 

current blog crushes

i am loving a few specific blogs right now that deserve a little limelight.

First Up....

HOMESICK TEXAN: This amazing little blog that I just found TODAY is chalked full of beautiful photos of wonderful Texas and Southern Food. A Texas girl now living in New York the author is artful in her descriptions, writing  and photography. She makes want... no crave to cook and create. 

This is a miracle, considering I generally abhor cooking.

A miracle. *In the photo: Cantaloupe Ice Cream. seriously.

   

After all that foodie reading it's nice to switchover and read about sweating.

Second on our list....

FLAT GUT: A bodybuilding journal of sorts by a guy who writes straight from the heart... or shall i say gut. What i love about this blog is the writing. It's a little gritty and truthful and my favorite parts usually follow the phrase "some might be offended by..." 

The forth right-ness keeps me hooked. The way I can laugh about what I often times just experienced that morning or week in my own strength training journey. More often than not I am shocked by the feeling that Danny has literally reached right inside my head and grasped my very own thoughts and then managed to share them with world in an honest in-your-face way I could not have achieved.

love it. daily. it keeps me going.

Now for some indulgence... A Beautiful Mess

 

i adore this blog. elsie also writes, manages, owns...Red Velvet Art, which i also love. 

but her personal blog owns me. she is wonderful and true to her personal style. She makes me feel both like I am sane in my eclectic-ness and yet completely under-using it. this blog inspires me and gets my creative juices flowing. The frequency in which blogs is also awe inspiring. I am spoiled by her multiple a day posts and how I depend on them to get me unstuck from a train of thought or jump started in morning.  Besides of of that...what an absolutely cool name: Elsie Flannigan. 

* AHHH, elsie just got engaged so the name is about the change. I am sure it will be equally as cool.

well, there you go. three of my current blog crushes. enjoy.

 

birthday wish list

my birthday was august 1st ... i am just now publishing my birthday wish list.... I think I am a little behind. 

what is it my momma used to say?

'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.'

well, my road is a super highway! I have had the nice list made and collected - i bookmarked webpages and photographed items in stores all year long so i would be prepared. i wanted my family to ask me for my list and BAM! I would surprise them all with an itemized organized list on beautiful stationary. HA!

My road to hell is a super-highway.

But I decided to share some of the items that made it on my list - because well.. they are awesome. 

first is a simple little serger. I want one so bad. I want to sew sew sew in my new little office/sewing space. this is one of the models I have been drooling over. it's simple and basic - nothing fancy yet.

** update: I just found out my mom & dad ordered this for me!! oh they just got moved up to the 'super nice gift' list for christmas **

something else i am drooling over is this book:

   

and this book:

 i already have VISION MONGERS by David duChemin but he refers to this book, which he wrote first, and I feel like missing important references! 

both are fantastic books. love the perspective.

  
 
 
 a new camera strap would not be a bad idea! I love this one because it looks more like a guitar strap and well,...it has an orange stripe - what more could a girl want !?!

I have already picked out fabric for my back up plan. i will make me myself a rockin' camera  strap.

THIS BAG, my friend, I am obsessed with! it is a Kelly Moore camera bag and until i discovered recently that it existed i will was in the midst of drawing up designs and research how the heck to get bags MADE for what i wanted. now i just lustfully look at the photos of the bag...the inside shots are the where the excitement is!  you must check it out. KELLY MOORE BAG http://kellymoorebag.com/mens/moore-men-s-bag.html 

(ugh my hyperlink thing-a-ma-jig is not working)

 then there are my anthropology wants. desires. dreams.

like these amazing little teacups = smitten, just smitten with.

 luckily i have the THE smartest sister-in-law and husband. thanks to them both i have not one but TWO gift cards to Anthropology! I am saving them for a day when I can go with out child or other human beings. i plan to browse the entire store. and when I have touched and looked at every item i will retire to the Steeping Room ( a tea shop next door ) to ponder which item I will purchase. them I will go back and select the item and smile while they lovingly wrap it up and place it in a large beautiful bag. then i will most likely go directly next door to the Apple store to use one of their computers to immediately blog about my new treasure. 

each of my gift cards came in these awesome little man pouches! brad accidentally dropped one of them in his sesame chicken when he was inspecting it. i was a little sad that my little man pouch was soiled so quickly, but forgave him later on that day when i got a second little man pouch from my sister-in-law. gee, i love her.

   

my mom also gave me serving dishes that are perfect and will go with everything. which is good because i plan on replacing my current set of dish ware - but slowly. i want to gather different pieces and have a collection of various dinner ware that creates an eclectic mix. Brad is a little unsure about this idea but thats were he begins with most of my ideas and in the end he likes it...most of the time. 

I am excited because i feel like it's a project and a journey - not just dishes.

well, theres more on my list but lets just be honest... these were the coolest of cool. 

***my bff got me some cool birthday stuff but that will need to be a post of it's own because it's a funny story. plus i need to grab some good photos of her gifts to do it justice.

 
 

brick & mortar

downtown with one of my favorite peeps, Jana, on a photo walk. i went home inspired. human emotion is awesome but sometimes you get so lost in the subjective and the commonality of the same work...it was refreshing to have straight lines, solid objects, bricks & mortar. 

*right click, they look better bigger.

moving on up.
  over the edge.

right angles.

 

Jeep Tip #453 - When Booster Seats Fly.

Learned and interesting fact this week. 

When you take the top off your Jeep Wrangler and go for a drive without your child...

You need to do one of the following:

A) Buckle the safety belt around the empty booster seat, securing it to the seat.

B) Take the empty booster seat out of the Jeep and leave in garage.

Otherwise you will be watching the booster seat FLY out of the Jeep and land on the road, from your rearview mirror.

* take note.

peaches & old stuff

the apartment is a crazy mess of boxes and there is stuff in all the wrong places. only one more week until the move into the apartment we actually plan on living in. Last weekend we just couldn't handle spending all weekend in the box fill rooms. So we took the top off the Jeep and headed to the hill country.  

Fredericksburg sounded nice. Maybe pick up some peaches at a quaint little fruit stand. A short visit to an antique shop to look at old stuff... just sounded great. 

and it was. Sort of. 

Kate and I had our handkerchiefs on holding our hair back and giant sunshades on to block the bright sunshine, as well as the random loose strand of hair that might whip around in wind and threaten eye laceration. 

 It was perfect. Music blaring we headed down the highway in our Jeep feeling the warmth of the sun on our shoulders.

About 20 minutes later Kate yells from the back. I turn around to see her holding her glasses to her head and yelling "This was a BAD IDEA!" 

At first it was funny but she was serious. 

" Turn AROUND. I want to go home."

Obviously 4.5 year olds do not have a nostalgic taste for driving with the windows down. it was TOO windy she claimed and that this was a BAD IDEA.  Unfortunately for her, we had embarked on this day trip and had no intentions of turning around before we got past Austin city limits. Although in all honesty you do not need to drive to Fredericksburg to get peaches. There are peach stands about every few feet on the highway with gigantic signs that say FREDERICKSBURG PEACHES.

We pressed on and Kate continued her chant & warnings ever so often. 

We did stop in one shop where i found a fabulously old sewing machine table. Kate found some horns she thought were awesome. This picture was not set up - she was really sitting at the wicker vanity and the horns were in front of her... so of course she picked them up to see what they looked like on her head. 

 

we did get peaches and even a bag of fresh Okra which I am frying up tonight. 

 

In Fredericksburg we made a mad dash for some food because we were starving....and ate the worst food ever. We will not be spiteful and name the place but it was right on the main street. overpriced & not good. well, the peach cobbler was good but it was made with CANNED PEACHES. seriously? in Fredericksburg where there are peaches galore. 

while we sat in cafe we people watched out the window and noticed it was ....raining. 

yep. the Jeep top is off and it's raining. thankfully it was light shower.

After browsing some shops and riding a pony...

we headed home. Poor Kate was terribly sleepy and slept like this: 

 

I know it's been 'summer' for a while now but for me Summer 2010 began on this day. It felt like Summer to me for the first time this year. It's been too mild of a Summer so far and this Texas girl is ready for the heat. 

Now I am going to go hide before you all flog me for that last sentence. 

don't rain on my parade.

I am in a GREAT mood today. GREAT. 

and while I generally try not to let me moods determine my day I thought July 29th was going to be fantastic just by sheer will of emotion. Unfortunately it seems there is a unforeseeable force trying to rain on my parade. it's all the little thing, right - the little things that peck and pinch trying to annoy you until you break.

So instead of a wonderful high today is turning out to be sharp zig-zagged chart of highs and lows.

For instance, I finally pulled the plug on a service I was using to host my photo galleries, while well-known and efficient they were difficult, complex and frustrating for my clients. Yikes. frustrated client = carrie apologizing a lot.  I am nearing the end of the switch over to a fabulous new gallery system that has MY look and feel and i love it... until today when I desperately need to have wedding images available and it will only upload 29 out of 283. SERIOUSLY?!?! and still have 500+ other photos in this wedding to be uploaded and in their folders.

thats OK, I will breathe and figure it out. 

while there is technical trouble at home I ran a quick errand to the book store where I found an amazing book and about five to add to my birthday wish list (birthday in T-minus 30ish days). After successfully snapping pics of the books i would love to get as birthday gifts and emailing them nonchalantly to my husband, I slowly make my way to the check out humming while I browse. 

"NEXT." calls out the clerk.

"May I have your (insert big name book store here) card."

"um, I don't have one but thanks."

"You should start one. It only takes a minute."

" I appreciate it but I would rather not, I get overwhelmed with too many cards in my wallet." 

"But it saves you money, mam."

"Well, my husband perfers that i don't - so no thanks."

"Are you sure, I am sure he would think it wise to save money on purchases your already making."

"Yes, I am sure. Its more of a choice we have made to not sign up for cards, thank you."

*all the while she is holding my precious books hostage.*

"Your total is $47.82. you would have saved over $5 if you had signed up for the card."

The humming has long since stopped and my pleasant mood which had moved to courteous at "you should start one..." has fallen. I just full stopped and looked at this woman with my head slightly askew thinking - Seriously?!?

They are small things, right. Small pesky little things.

Back at the home office and welcomed by great feedback regarding photos I took of last weeks Vacation Bible School. I am trying tie up VBS 2010 photos - get them uploaded and tagged and sorted. I have TWO computers working on this, yet my favorite social network continues to freak out on me causing me to have to start over creating the photo albums every five minutes. Now I have seen the images so many times they are no longer cute giggling children - instead they are laughing and mocking me. all a part of some giant plan to push me closer to the edge of sanity. 

It's all ok though. Rain on me - the parade will go on. I got rain-boots.

imac, ilove iyou.

so it's true. after years of yearning, second-hand tech gear, and saving I have my very own brand new computer. not just any computer - an iMac.  

iLove.

the best part: the keyboard has all it's keys. which my previous machine did not. I am already a horrible speller/typer/possible dyslexic ( i am serious, not making a a joke) so missing keys makes blogging more of a word puzzle that a piece of reading material.

everything seems to work better on the machine. it's like the laborious tasks of yesterday are suddenly effortless. I might - just maybe - start blogging again.  MAYBE.

right now Brad is laughing at me because i still have my PC running and I am currently working on both. while the double machine usage in amazing and i often slip into a loud evil cackle like a mastermind villain in front of there massive creation.... the PC will cease once I get all my contacts moved over.

then it will go to purgatory.

i mean kate's desk in my office. She is excited to have a machine to "work" on and I am excited her games will stop crashing my machine. its a win-win.

   

 

spa days & ladybugs

lately my days are spent working amidst boxes. when I am not working, I am shooting. why the boxes...well we moved into a wonderful apartment and then decided to reserve the bigger one across the hall. the need for that one extra bedroom became glaringly obvious once we moved our boxes in. so now we are waiting. it's like living in a hotel where you never really unpack or settle in...only not decorated and there is no room service....or maid service. yeah, that good.

having said that, it is very exciting to realize the flip side. i am working - and ALOT. enough to require office space in our house and to be too busy to even sort of unpack for a month. it's good.

 

 but somedays the boxes get to us. the work seems to big. the day seems too short. 

these are the days we stop and paint our nails.

 

this was last weeks nails : Ladybugs.

she loved them. today we did: Bumble Bees. 

I didn't pull out the camera today because it felt like work and i wanted to savor the moment. It's funny, when your job is to "capture memories" sometimes you just feel like being selfish and enjoying the fleeting feeling of the moments not captured. the ones  you can't share - they are yours and yours alone. To be savored and fading like dreams.

 
 i am truly hoping kate choose something besides a bug next time.

it's all coming together.... well at least for this small moment.

this past weekend has been rough. the proverbial plate that I thought I was keeping balnaced and not overly full...cracked. obviously I mis-judged. my boundries were pushed against and despite all of my well made plans, I fell apart.

at the end of the day something had to give, which means I had to back out of a commitment. "drop the ball" at the last minute. i hate this. it tears at my insides. it's one thing to have a job and try your best and not be the greatest. to try and just be OK. that I can handle. even having that job become a total flop is still not a loss, because you were there. having people depend on you and not showing up...that is failure.

 yet, i had no choice. the harder i worked to figure out a way to do it ALL, the more things fell apart.

finally i gave in and let the ball drop.

i apologize for speaking in analogies and over-used quips. i could at length explain and walk you through all the little details  but it's not about the circumstances. circumstances provide excuses and this is about me and how i see what I want to see. how i missed it and failed. how failure can be full of grace.

a few weeks back I led a fun retelling of the story of Ballam's Donkey with the junior high kids on Sunday morning...It's all about how we refuse to pay attention to roadblocks in our life, to push through and be so focused that we don't hear God's leading in another direction. It's also about how God goes to extreme lengths to get our attention at times.

I have really enjoyed letting this story stew in my brain and seep into areas on my life. In a few particular areas on my life I have been overtly looking, aware of roadblocks, not wanting to "miss" them . Of course I am confidently thrilled when I feel I have the green light to charge on ahead. In these areas I expected the roadblocks.

In other areas, I never looked. I never stop to think "is this what I should be commiting to?" - Of course it is. Its within my skill range. It's something i am good at. It's a good thing to do. I could do this blind folded and I am good at it - Of couse it's a YES. All that other stuff is out of reach, a long shot BUT THIS? this is easy.

So i didn't stop to ask. Didn't even stop to look for roadblocks. When I came to the roadblocks I jumped over them, scaled them, tore them down... until they were so big and obvious that I could no longer jump high enough or climb fast enough.

yesterday I recouped from a day of broken-ness. a day where i had to fail. I was humbled. i was redirected. it was one of those days that the tears kept falling way past the point of emotional numbness. i was emptied.

today things seem to be refocusing. like when you go to the eye doctor and he makes you look through the veiw finder at the letters on the wall... and then he changes the glass in the veiw finder until he finds your optimal eye strength. It's blurry and then clearer but not clear, blurry and then crystal clear, burry again and then clearer but not by much....

every once in a while I get a clear idea of where I am going and then it's blurry again. I am glad. it keeps where I need to be - asking and seeking instead all this needless doing.

today i am left with a pile I things that seem unreachable or difficult but I know I need to continue and a pile of things I KNOW I CAN DO but I need to let go of. yikes. not what i expected.

this verse and quote (both are my all time favorites) have been rolling around in my head for weeks. equally encouraging and simeltenously annoying.

" whereever you are be all there. live to the HILT in every situation you believe to be the will of GOD." Jim Elliot

"I nebechaneezer, praise the God of Daniel, for he is Holy and Just and worht of praise. he humbles those who walk in pride." Daniel 4:29

** written june 2010, posted at later date **

house-wifery

somebody commented on my facebook status the other day... they said i was a "housewife extrordinaire"

BAHHHAHAHHAA. so funny.

those of you who know my secret nooks and crannies can enjoy a laugh at that.

It was an uber-kind comment and it was encourageing to know that at least on the surface I appear to be good at house-wifery. the truth is: while I DID make an Easter dress for my daughter in 2.5 hours and included the four year old in the process and design....I ALSO allowed her to play with my scraps of fabric and pins resulting in many bandaged fingers, ignored the dishes and then stuff the dirty ones in the fridge when I left the house incase a relator brought someone by, let Kate eat four popsicles and watch the Princess & the Frog in repeat, and then bullied my husband into taking us out for pizza rolls for dinner because I didn't make anything.

(it's funnier typed out like that.)

thank goodness I have a small buisness so I don't have to be a full-time housewife. i am not very good at it all. here's a salute to all the girls I know and love who actually wash their dishes and feed their young, I am in awe. seriously.

Easter Dragons

I am running around the house today getting it sqeaky clean - a realtor is showing it later and she thinks her client with "love it as much as she does."
Oh, Lord let it be so.

in the midst of cleaning I am trying to get organized for a trip to Colorado to photograph a wedding. i so thilled about this trip but it's a longer trip and figuring out how to pack equipment and what to wear is feeling daughting right now. That could be due to the fact that my four year old is happily pretending to be a dragon - roaring, firebreathing, house destroying menace OR she is whining and crying pitifully because I told her to stop being a dragon and destroying my house. Either way she is too loud and very irritating.

I am blaming this on all the Easter sugar that is most likely flowing through her veins. "yeah for Jesus being alive, lets eat giant chocolate bunnies."
something is wrong with this ritual. Must rethink for next year.

To get my head in the game I sat down at my computer in an effort to get SOMETHING done. start downloading images. open emails. check blog roll.

then i stumbled upon this post. as always Natalie is raw and honest, but today it did something more than make me thankful for my daughter or ache for someone else's tragedy. often i read her words and it causes me pause.

today the slideshow... it was my easter message. more than anything I did this weekend (church, youth, family, egghunts), this made me stop. i praised Him for the beauty of His creation, i understood and thought about His love for me and His sacrifice, i did not just ache for this family I only know through her blog postings... i mourned with her. I found joy in knowing He is greater than death. That He died so that I might live and live life more abundantly - that I might live forever. I praised Him.

And then I laughed at Natalie's inside joke and felt alive and real and raw.

Thank you Natalie for sharing once again. Today Gavin help me cut through the haze and Praise Him. I am more ready to exprience today - to just move through my to do list or be productive but to experience the world He created with all the joys and sorrows it holds.

excuse me while I go battle my little dragon - i know just the right spot to tickle it.

http://www.natalienortonphoto.com/2010/04/happily-easter.html

our little saints

super-bowl fun this year consisted of flags and Fleur's and shrimp po-boys.

(as well as what we now refer to as 'the incident' which you can read about here.)

it was relaxed and fun. although we didn't really have a party .. four adults and four kids cheering the saints on in our little house could have rivaled any college frat house at times.

the kids were into it which was great. our friends brought a Saints flag that we hung outside and the kiddos had the necklaces that had been sent directly from family in NOLA.

i only recently claimed the Saints as "my team" and I need to state I did this before I realized they were heading to the playoffs. One night I sat with Brad and watched the last half of a football game. It was just me and him - I was doing anything else which is rare, I only sit down with him while he watches sports if I have something to do - I was actually watching. Since it was quiet i asked a few questions about the players etc...

Then Brad gets all excited. He begin telling me his developing theory that I would enjoy ...even LIKE football if I just knew more about the players. For instance I am interested in UT footballl because I know about the player and I live int he town full of UT culture. He tells me I need a connection.

While I agree that 'knowing' the players helps but the time to learn about all the players and stay focused is just not what I want to spend my energy on. Everyone knows so much more about the game, players, history...blahblahblah. It's easier to just not try.

Thats when he suggested picking one team. One team to follow and watch for a year and see if maybe that would make it fun. At first I played along not really taking in seriously. I was having a blast shooting down every team due to their awful team colors or mascot or based on the fact i didn't like the city they were from...Then Brad said " How about the Saints? You loved your trip to NOLA!"

He had me.I loved New Orleans. So I agreed. I even, like the nerd I am, pursued the internet learning about the Saints.Then they went to the playoffs. I bought a shirt. Then they went to the super-bowl and WON! I have to admit that Brad's plan is working. I enjoyed the game. I even was able to tell someone who missed the game about the plays ( WHOA ).

I still don't have "Fan-Turrets". you know, when fans who are calmly watching the game suddenly and involuntarily erupt is LOUD response to a play. I think that kind of passion is cultivated.

enough rambling. geaux saints.

LOST + GYM = awkward

 

last night I had a genius idea : go to the gym and workout WHILE i watch Lost. perfect. I approached Brad carefully, knowing that I couldn't get my hope up. After all, he was feeling horrible due to allergies...and Kate was dressed for bed but not in bed yet. Asking he minded me going to the gym at 7:45 meant so much more...let me list them.

• He would have to put kate to bed
• He would have to watch Lost alone
• He would have to get up and put Kate back to bed repeatedly if she proved difficult
• He would have to get up EVERY time the dog wanted to go outside (usually we alternate)

I am cruel aren't I? It's not that he doesn't do all of this on a regular basis but he was feeling pretty bad.

To my surprise he said SURE. I am starting to think I can ask anything and as long as the sentence has the word "GYM" (which I am sure he translates to: carrie getting a bikini body) or "Photo Shoot" (which translates to : more money for new house down payment) he will say yes.

So I jet out of there quick and arrive at the gym with 15 minutes to figure out how to change the channels on the gym TV. A broad smile spread across my face when I see that the middle TV is off which is perfect because i can set it to lost and see it from any location. I get the controls, read the directions posted on the wall and head confidently to the middle of the room.

I raise my magic wand Tv remote and point it towards TV #3.

nothing happens.

I jab at the controls, puzzled.

nothing happens.

Marching back ot the wall of instructions I read them s..l..o..w..l..y so I don't miss anything.

Once again back to the middle of the room, raised controller...

nothing happens on TV #3 but TV#2 goes off. uh oh.

I point the controller at TV#2 and TV #3 goes off. Now it's a battle of the TVs going off and on but never the right one. I stop and scan the room looking for the video monitors and consider waving at the guy who owns my gym and it most likely watching me and laughing. Instead I make eye contact with the other three people in the gym - all smiling broadly.

I apologize and find that NONE of them are watching the TVs at the moment and NONE of them know how to use the controls.

I march back to the wall of instruction. I reread everything - but I didn't miss anything.

Back to the middle of the room where I pause and then step exactly beneath the TV and point the controller with in a few inches of the sensor.

SCORE!

In my delight I throw my arms straight up in the air and yell "SCORE" -- then I remember my audience.

Thrilled to have entertained them all, I replace the controller and get on my machine of choice. Victory was sweet until I realized that I did not have any sound and I forgot to turn of the SAP options....back to the controller.

I managed to get it all in order by the time LOST actually began and it seemed to serve as a group lesson on TV operations. The others thanked me before they left for figuring it out - they each had not had the boldness to try and change the channel and they appreciated me "teaching" them.

Next week I will be watching LOST at home.

i see the moon and the moon sees me.

on the way back from visiting my friend in Houston, Kate and I pulled over to photograph a few things as the sunset. ok, i photographed something while Kate watched a movie on my laptop. she could careless about the sunset. then is started to get dark quick and a snagged some shots of the moon thru the trees. i started thinking about night animals which led my thoughts to werewolves... which got me thinking about vampires....

that's when I got scared, jumped in my car and sped down the highway. 

 

the funny part is about half and hour later the laptop and the cell phone both go dead.

So I pull over adn find a convient store, park in front, plug my charger and laptop into the outside plug where the giant ice machine is plugged into...and waited until both items charge up.

Kate and I enjoyed some snack while we waited. yep, 30 minutes later home that night but seriously.  I was not driving another 2 hours with a dead phone and a bored four year old....especially when I had vampires and werewolves chasing me.

 
 
 

ummm, your ruining my urban backdrop!

Facebook is great for a lot of things including intstantly requesting support for all your favorite volunteer or charity groups. I recieved a FAN request recently for Little Helping Hands  a group that's goal is "inspiring community service in early childhood."

Sounds wonderful right? I start browsing around their site and their Facebook page and even start wondering if this would be something I could try with kate....

then I saw something amongst the photos of family charity, clean-up and helping events - this:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=134131&id=106165731598

(you will have to click because they are smart and have their images protected! good job.seriously.)

Did you click? Well - click it and take a look.

They are PAINTING over the awesome art work ( technically called graffiti ) !!  i started clicking through the photos yelling NOOOOOOI I get that this looks like beautifying the neighborhood but the artist/photographer in me was cringing a little. I spend alot of time looking for little venues like this and here they go painting over it.

I am getting over it. after all one man's vandelism is another man's urban backdrop. i guess my idea of a beautiful city is not really beige paint. it's ok, it's not like they asked my opinion. hopefully the neighborhood appreciates it. thankfully my cousin married an artist who gets permits and knows where to find good street art.

little helping hands, give us a call when you want to paint something with a color other than beige - better yet a mural.

i am thankful '09

it took me a long time to get into the holiday mood for Thanksgiving. through out November the news feeds on Facebook listed one thankful status after another and I found myself getting irritable. I am not even sure why. After all is is THANKSGIVING, the time to give thanks. And it's only logically for people to have similar things to be thankful for - families are thankful for families, people who have kids or homes or whatever - are thankful for those things. It's not redundant, I would tell myself, it's logical. And it's obvious that those individuals would express their thankfulness with words of affection and emotion. Obviously.

Inspite of my self-lecturing i still seemed to develop a scrooge mentality. I was a little worried that maybe I was not thankful enough for my own blessings but both brad and i have been talking about how we love our life right now. We are thankful and blessed but not sappy. something must be wrong with us.

so instead of getting frustrated we decided to think of thing we were NOT thankful for and see if it stirred up some feelings of mushiness or uncovered some hidden thankfulness. we call it lamenting together.

1. i am not thankful for the dog that busted the fence therefore causing me to have to take paisley out on a leash to pee...all the time. oh, and possible impregnating her.

2. brad is not thankful for tree roots that grew into the pipe, making it his job to snake the pipes often so we don't have backups. eww, gross.

3. We are both not thankful for Round Rock Donuts closing 10minutes before we arrived, especially on the night we told Kate should coul dhave her first donut! (it's ok we had them the next morning)

4. I am not thankful for Hobby Lobby running out of the exact color of yarn I need to finish a project. geez, the gall.

5. Kate is not thankful for having to take naps....

6. Brad is not thankful that i (carrie) get to drive the Jeep all the time and he only gets weekend rights.

this exercise ended up being fun as we started naming more and more ridiculous things.we laughed and laughed and laughed. It worked we were suddenly very thankful and happy about how trivial our NOT Thankful's were...

eventually we moved on to actually thankful things like....

- I am thankful the Mike Rowe narrates all the shows on Discovery because i love to hear that voice!

ok they were still trivial but true. it was a great thing. I discovered things I didn't know bother brad and even kate. this may very well become a family tradition. the world can have their sappy, mushy thankful list and we will stick with our trivially ridiculous list. In the end it's still a sober reminder of where we are and where we have come. whether we are thankful for it or not.

This years big point of thanks is that Kate has grown out of her egg allergy, but I will leave that story for another post.

a short playdate.

i did a bad job of keeping things straight on my schedule the other day and ended up overlapping a few things. when I realized it...well it was really too late to cancel and I just decided to push through. so we drove out to our playdate across town to meet up with friends for 45 minutes and then drove back to our side of town to drop kate off and then i when on to my other engagement. 

i am so glad i pushed through! I discovered a new park thanks to my friend, kate was able to connect withe girls whom she had not seen in a while and i was able to catch these wonderful sun-lit photos of the playdate while catching up with a close friend. wouldn't have missed it for the world.

better yet we scheduled a "do over" this week.

the park is called richard moya park.

 

 

 

 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 

NOLA: keet the street preacher

it was mid-morning and the second workshop of the day had just begun. i was attending a conference in New Orleans and after two days of hearing and seeing the work of great photographers my mind was full and my trigger finger itching. the lights went down, the slideshow began, and i had the terrible urge to run away. for a moment i sat completely still not sure what to do - then grabbed my notebook bag and walk right out of the hotel, into the beautiful day on Canal St. The desire to leave was not because the presentation was awful but because the first session was so INSPIRING that I was not ready to bury it under another equally amazing talk or worse - shatter it with something completely irrelevant.

now that i was outside and alone, I was full of energy and excitement about exploring this diverse city. I only had a short time before I had to meet my fellow travelers for lunch so i decided to head to the hotel and drop some stuff off. this would provide direction and I could wander along the way. I took my time .. I looked and photographed and smiled.

I smiled at everyone, looking them straight in the eye. in turn people smiled back and said hello - starting conversation or exchanging pleasant greetings. i love this.

I stumbled upon a little gallery show in a hotel lobby displaying photos taken in the 1950's on the very same street. I loved the old black and whites and the ability to at see the past and future in the same moment. i snapped this shot with the image from 60 years prior and people walking outside in the present.

as i emerged from the hotel lobby, noting the starbucks I planned to return to in the morning, I heard a voice reverberating off the tall buildings that lined the streets. I looked in the direction of the noise and had the strangest thought. "Is Arby's broadcasting Martin Luther King speeches down Canal Street at lunch time? this city is weirder than Austin." 

I started to head in that direction and listening the content of the voice.

'He is your source, You need Him. At this day, in this time you need Him. He is your Savior. you may think  you are doing fine but a day will come when you will see you are sadly mistaken.'

I spotted a man sitting a chair on the street corner wearing an umbrella hat and speaking through a microphone. i was drawn to him and crossed the street walking directly toward him. Once I reached the curb, about 7 feet from where was sitting, i sudden realized how direct i was being and waivered. thankfully a woman stopped to converse with him and I veered a little to walk past him with out stopping but as i passed, with my camera hanging from hand at my thigh, I 'clicked'. I couldn't help it. it was like taking a photo with my mind and my fingers just obeyed. that is the image at the top of the post, just keet's legs and belongings.

I paused at the corner of the giant building and photographed the sleeping man on the steps, not really seeing the man but just gathering courage to approach the opportunity I just passed. Then I turned and listen to Keet preach. i was a mere 4 feet from his chair and after a few minutes of speaking he put down his microphone and looked at me. " Good Morning young lady, how has the Lord Blessed you today?"

I smiled broadly and step forward to meet Keet, the street preacher.
 

Keet asked me if i was "aware of what Jesus had done for me" and was i honoring Him with my life. After a moment of assuring him that I was taught the Word of God and accepted Jesus as not only my Savior but my King... and was passing on the knowledge to my young daughter, Keet told me about his travels. turns out Keet has traveled all over the United states as a street preacher, even spending time in San Marcos, TX. He went to school there at one point and enjoyed a good party in Austin and great food in San Antonio. I spent a good 20 minutes just talking with Keet about the world around us and his life as a street preacher. I asked if i could get a photo of him and he said "Sure. can my best friend be in it?" Then he raise his Bible.

 Later that day I told my traveling companions about Keet as we passed by his spot and thats when i noticed his chair and crate. I had to stop and photograph the way his had locked his belongings up so that they would be ready for tomorrow sermon. This really was his spot.  

For all I know Keet's whole thing was just a ploy for money. It's obvious that he lived off what he earned and that people gave him money to absolve the guilt he may have brought on with his pointed words. But one way or another I enjoyed meeting someone so vastly different from me and my lifestyle - and yet we shared some very strong common beliefs.