The Kate Effect

...and this is what happens.

 

so if you read my last post...the one where I admitted to giving all my dishes away...you completely understand why i served my daughter breakfast in a measuring cup.

she was quite put off by this. i thought it was creative, fun and resourceful. she said it was dumb and we should buy dishes.

i tried to be cheerful about things but if I was being honest I would admit to having urges to dump salt into her cereal, but I am not that honest. I was cheerful and encouraged her to loosen up. after all there is nothing wrong with expanding the usage of an object. 

guerilla kitting: austin, tx

  i forgot to post these  - a few months back I was downtown austin meeting a client and saw some guerilla knitting. If you have never heard of guerilla knitting it is this funny interesting concept of knitting vandalism. people knit covers or accessories for common objects...poles, signs, statues. 

I really like it when they knit clothes for statues. 

then they go out and anonymously leaving the knitting attached to what ever they have decided to beautify.

These are signs on the road way.

 

the city has taken the knitted pieces down now. I am glad I stopped and snapped a few shot while I did.

 for examples of guerilla knitting check out this previous post.

http://thekateeffect.typepad.com/the_kate_effect/2009/01/red-robe-theory.html

Jeep Tip #453 - When Booster Seats Fly.

Learned and interesting fact this week. 

When you take the top off your Jeep Wrangler and go for a drive without your child...

You need to do one of the following:

A) Buckle the safety belt around the empty booster seat, securing it to the seat.

B) Take the empty booster seat out of the Jeep and leave in garage.

Otherwise you will be watching the booster seat FLY out of the Jeep and land on the road, from your rearview mirror.

* take note.

juice is a general term.

today we had cowboy steak for dinner with creamy mashed potatoes,sauteed mushrooms and salad with a yummy dressing - olive oil and sun-dried tomatoes.

(no worries - this is not going to turn into a cooking or foodie blog. I personal prefer fast-food in general.)

kate loved it - she loves real meals with veggies and meat. she makes a great omnivore. but tonight the steak was a little too peppery for her four year old palette. brad decided to put a cup of the meat juice between them for dipping - he explained it was 'au jus' and told her all about using it as a dip and how sometimes you can dip your sandwiches into au jus.

Kate of course loved the sound of the word and repeated it between bites. it was a simply fun and educational meal that concluded with mom clearing the table and dad washing the dishes.

I turned to grab the salad dressing off the table and found Kate DRINKING from the cup of 'au jus'.

drinking. meat. juice.

I made that sound where you suck in air really quick, which made Brad drop what he was doing and look up...this is when Kate brought the cup down from her face. there she was with her cheek puffed out like a chipmunk - FULL OF MEAT JUICE!

Brad looked at me, his hands dripping with soap suds, and asked 'Did she drink that?'

Kate's eyes got slightly bigger as she began to realize she had done something to alarm us. I calmly ask her to spit it out - and she does all over her plater and any remaining food. Which gets an "eww, yuck!" from us.

Brad says, "Kate baby, why did you drink that?"

"You said it was juice, dad." was her reply.

LOST + GYM = awkward

 

last night I had a genius idea : go to the gym and workout WHILE i watch Lost. perfect. I approached Brad carefully, knowing that I couldn't get my hope up. After all, he was feeling horrible due to allergies...and Kate was dressed for bed but not in bed yet. Asking he minded me going to the gym at 7:45 meant so much more...let me list them.

• He would have to put kate to bed
• He would have to watch Lost alone
• He would have to get up and put Kate back to bed repeatedly if she proved difficult
• He would have to get up EVERY time the dog wanted to go outside (usually we alternate)

I am cruel aren't I? It's not that he doesn't do all of this on a regular basis but he was feeling pretty bad.

To my surprise he said SURE. I am starting to think I can ask anything and as long as the sentence has the word "GYM" (which I am sure he translates to: carrie getting a bikini body) or "Photo Shoot" (which translates to : more money for new house down payment) he will say yes.

So I jet out of there quick and arrive at the gym with 15 minutes to figure out how to change the channels on the gym TV. A broad smile spread across my face when I see that the middle TV is off which is perfect because i can set it to lost and see it from any location. I get the controls, read the directions posted on the wall and head confidently to the middle of the room.

I raise my magic wand Tv remote and point it towards TV #3.

nothing happens.

I jab at the controls, puzzled.

nothing happens.

Marching back ot the wall of instructions I read them s..l..o..w..l..y so I don't miss anything.

Once again back to the middle of the room, raised controller...

nothing happens on TV #3 but TV#2 goes off. uh oh.

I point the controller at TV#2 and TV #3 goes off. Now it's a battle of the TVs going off and on but never the right one. I stop and scan the room looking for the video monitors and consider waving at the guy who owns my gym and it most likely watching me and laughing. Instead I make eye contact with the other three people in the gym - all smiling broadly.

I apologize and find that NONE of them are watching the TVs at the moment and NONE of them know how to use the controls.

I march back to the wall of instruction. I reread everything - but I didn't miss anything.

Back to the middle of the room where I pause and then step exactly beneath the TV and point the controller with in a few inches of the sensor.

SCORE!

In my delight I throw my arms straight up in the air and yell "SCORE" -- then I remember my audience.

Thrilled to have entertained them all, I replace the controller and get on my machine of choice. Victory was sweet until I realized that I did not have any sound and I forgot to turn of the SAP options....back to the controller.

I managed to get it all in order by the time LOST actually began and it seemed to serve as a group lesson on TV operations. The others thanked me before they left for figuring it out - they each had not had the boldness to try and change the channel and they appreciated me "teaching" them.

Next week I will be watching LOST at home.

she makes me laugh.

I have no idea whether these two clips will be as funny to you as they are to my and my family but I needed to share. I watch this whenever I need a good laugh.

Here is a tip: It's funnier the second time around

Don't drag it on the floor, Please. from Carrie D'Anna on Vimeo.

Kate direction us into traffic from Carrie D'Anna on Vimeo.

these clips were taken during a post-christmas shopping trip. There is a blanket in the bag...it was really soft... no one was harmed in the making of this film.

human love.

i may have mentioned in the past that Kate refers to adult people as 'humans'. which logically is true, they are humans. But when used in a sentence like so ; " Mom, can you call Monica's big human ( which is kate-speak for monica's mom) and ask if she can come over and play?" it sounds slightly disturbing.

it was funny at first, especially when i was reading the twilight series and the books used the word human to differentiate between mortals, vampires, and werewolves. i know she established this pattern around two years old when we talked about dogs verses humans. what dogs do and humans don't and visa versa, but somewhere along the way 'human' became synonymous with adult.

it's like I have this little alien child with me who is always commenting on some strange life form ...

"Mom, why is that human washing that thing?" "where do you think that human will go?" "Can i talk to the human at McDonald's and tell her what I want to eat?"

A few days ago Kate once again referred to someone walking their dog as a human and I ignored her question and said " WHy do you keep calling them HUMANS, kAte? They are adults, we are all  humans. I know you know this baby, why do you say it that way?"

I know - it was a little harsher than needed. I was quite grumpy at the time.

It was silent in the car for a moment and then kate replied softly,"I just like to say it my way.thats all."

I smiled and then laughed big and long.

this human love her Kate.

this is what i look like riding my bike.

ok, not really. but who wouldn't want to ride there bike with a rabbit and a wolf, who could do bike tricks, while singing about love grown cold? it's just so perfect. i hoped you all laughed as much as i did watching this!

facebook status 7.31.09

while cuddling in bed and watch cartoons with kate this morning I casually asked what she did last night, she said "i saw gigi and poppi with daddy and we...(looks at me with big eyes and her hand over her mouth, mumbles through it) oh, yeah. daddy said it's a secret for mommy's birthday. " UGH - what 3.5 year old keeps a secret?

Can't decide on a title for this post...

Face Off

Chuckie's Child

Marie Antionette Doll

Cabbage Patch Kid turned Garbage Pail Kid.

Paisley Strikes Again

Toy Story 4: Sid's House

do i really have to clarify?

We have told kate for years not to drink the bathwater... years.

I am drying my hair in the bathroom while she takes a bath and I hear her gagging.

I whirl around, "are you ok? what happened?"

*cough*  " yes, i'm alright. i was drinking water from the bathtub."

"kate, that is gross! I told you not to drink from the tub, it is dirty water."

"but mommy, i put clean water in my bathtub." she holds up a plastic tub while pointing the the running faucet.

....seriously, child. do i have to TELL you not to drink from ANY bathtub. big or small. she admitted it tasted bad but I am still preparing myself for the next object decideds to use as a cup.

for real!!

  

I must give credit where credit is due: my friend mr.E Lamb shared this via twitter. he actually took the photo himself at the gas station. This is really and truely post in public at a gas pump!

it cracks me up.

i saw this downtown austin....

from what I could see - while I fumbled to find my camera at the stop light before they rode away - it is a family on a tour...

cracked me up!

sky mall animal solutions

You know the magazine that they have on airplanes called Sky Mall?

The one with the ridiculous array of stuff you can buy while sitting on a plane.
Well here is my favorite item:

 
 
Amazing isn’t it?

It’s a vase, no a pot.

Oh wait it’s a cat litter box.

Can’t just see having that in your home? Someone comes to visit and is admiring the flowers  you have planted and then going to sniff them and wondering what the heck kind of flowers smell like cat urine and feces!?!

Seriously people.

It's Dark in Here

I am writing these poems
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.
So please excuse the handwriting
Which may not be too clear.
But this afternoon by the lion's cage
I'm afraid I got too near.
And I'm writing these lines
From inside a lion,
And it's rather dark in here.

Shel Silverstein

 

Along with a chapter book Kate and I have been reading Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstien. It is a book of poems that are quite unique. The above poe

m I read to Kate last night.

She looks up at me and says "Why?"

I didn't understand, "Why What? HE is in a lion and it is dark."

"Why is it dark?" said Kate completely serious and open to learning something.

"Umm, well he is inside the lion see the picture.." I point the drawing of a lion with an arm stickin gout of the mouth holding a pen and writing on some paper.

She looks at the picture for a moment and then looked at me asking, "did he forget his flashlight?"

(i burst into laugher) "yes, he forgot his flashlight!"

 

Then I read this poem:

 

Brad who is listening from the other couch looks up and says "It's that SEX?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

my Facebook Status yesterday:

 Carrie D'Anna took out the trash to the curb and stood there a watched the dump truck whiz by, then came a police car, then another, and then another. i am not sure the trash will get picked up today.

*I am completely serious. trash was picked up but much later by a truck that was different than the usual truck.

I am so jealous that I was not there to join in!

I stumbled upon this and Kate and i danced to it for a long time this afternoon

do you have a pulse.

the new allergist wanted to run another test for egg allergens on kate's blood. it's been two years..lets see where we are - sound good huh?

sounds great until i am in the car and I start to think about the fact we would need to draw blood from kate for the test...hmmm. this could go really good or really bad.

leading up to the blood draw I waffled on whether to let kate know ahead of time or just go there and tell her shortly before. Two days before the big day i decided to let her know.

we practiced holding our arm out and use a skewer from our kabobs at dinner to pretend poke our arm. I showed her where she could feel her pulse in her neck and then she took her two fingers and tried to find paisley's. It was going really well!

At one point she was feeling her pulse and her eye widened. She said "mom what is in there?"

"that's your blood, Kate." i replied.

"Mom, i think it wants out!" she smiled. She though the heartbeat was knocking.

At one point Brad walks by the bedroom during a practice session and asks what kate is doing sprawled across the bed.

"She's dead." I told him. Kate likes to playing dead.

*** this was written april 14th,2009 and posted on a later date. blood draw went well.***

peanuts.

We (Brad, Kate and I) were driving around the other day and decided to get some icecream. While Brad was driving I noticed there was something printed on the pocket of his cargo shorts. I reached over and pulled at the pocket a little so I could read it. It said something about "ART & SCIENCE" blahblah blah...I was about to ask brad what brand the shorts were when he said "stop touching my penis!" 

yeah, reread it. i was shocked too. brad usually doesn't say things like this - that my job.

My mouth dropped open and then I giggled because you could tell by the huge grin on his face he was trying to shock me and be funny about me messing with his pants. (the pocket was no where near the "man parts")

Suddenly Kate says, "Your peanuts? I'm not touching your peanuts."

Brad and I are trying to contain our laughter which is coming out in sputters and spurts. Not really sure where to go from there we keep looking at each other with HUGE eyes and open mouths - silently laughing until it hurts.

The whole time Kate is going on and on about peanuts.

"Where are your peanuts? Is mommy touching your peanuts? I can't see peanuts."

After we calm down a little and pull into the drive-thru I tell Brad I want "the Peanut Buster thing he always gets."  Kate on cue begins to ask me about whether I like to 'eat peanuts' and do I like 'chocolate on my peanuts'.

Brad finally had to end the conversation by telling Kate should doesn't need to have peanuts until she is all grown up and to eat her icecream.

Now when some one mentions peanuts she tells them "Dad says I can't have peanuts until I am 30."

Happy April Fool's Day (2009)

if you are reading this right now... YOU HAVE TO GO to the Whole Foods website.

right now. not tomorrow. it just won't be the same.

time waster but well worth the laugh.

on this siteyou can upload a photo and add a slogan to create a poster int he same style as Obama's icon poster. Just going through the gallery of top rated posters people have come up with will bring laughter to you day. my two favorites are below.

* I think I like thesite because it pokes a little fun at the iconic posters of Obama which i have my own opinions about. hurray for poking fun.

  http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com

my album cover

Some of you are well aware that I am an active Facebooker. There are so many pros and cons to this phenomenon called Facebook that I flipflop every day on whether I even like the dang thing.

Then something comes up and I realize why I enjoy it so much. Because you get to do stupid stuff like this and waste time....

My Album Cover - Created by playing the FB game below.

*note: not a real album cover.

To create your own album cover:

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together. Preferably in a square format layout, like a nice old-timey vinyl album cover.

5 - Post it to FB (or blog, or just make your spouse get up from their cozy chair and put 24 on pause to come veiw it.)

so thats what i am experiencing !?!

thank God I will be 30 in two years!

 

*book found at Barnes and Noble on the discount cart.

party line

 kate loves the phone. the idea of the phone. the walking around with it in your hand. the the feeling of being grown up and important.

unfortunately she is not a very good phone talker yet. when i finally give in and hand her the phone in hopes of a sweet conversation with daddy or gigi, she stops speaking. she nods in response to the person on the other line who can not see her, looses her train of thought, whispers in audiable phrases into the reciever, points to  things around the house and says looks at this!

I figured it was quite normal for her to not understand the properties of the phone and we often resport to feed her lines of conversation. Then we have to have her repeatt hem a few times ask her to speak louder. Finally we translate in the background so that the person on the other end can ooh and ahhh at the appopraite times.

The other day she looks at my iphone and waved at the image of gigi. When my mom said Hello, which was shear coincedence, kate said I'm coming! and lifted her foot up to the iphone as if to step into the phone.

I blame Mary Poppins and Blues Clue for teaching my child that you can jump into pictures.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom, having already allowed kate to talk, when suddenly I heard a 'click' and then a giggle followed by hi gigi!

???!!!???***?

This is a picture of what I found in the other room....

Kate may be confused about somethings but the 'party line' concept came naturally.

stuffed cats have 9 million lives

today Chip & Pounce had surgery - or so Kate says.

She had her doctor kit and everything. Kate has no idea what surgery is but she knows the Grandpa had surgery and now has a gigantic bandaide on his back. She figures it has to do with doctors and hospitals. I am only guessing but I think she might have snuck out of her bed a few times and secretly watched an episode or two of Grey's Anatomy last season. Otherwise, I have no clue how she knew to use the lamp as a big light for surgery - plus she called one of her imaginary doctors: Mr. Dreamy.

Someday we will have a house where the TV is no where near her room. 

Taking Center Stage: Chip & Pounce

 

these two kitten came home with us a few weeks ago from gigi's

for some reason kate LOVES cats, despite my obvious dislike she chooses to pick out stuffed kitties in the store, paint pictures of kittens and to my horror act like a cat. Someday her heart will break when she realizes the reason we do not own a cat is not because I am a mean mother out to suck the joy from her world but because cats make her miserable. I will there for you Kate when you decide to be defiant and rebell against your allergies. You will go out and purchase the cutest kitten you can find, showering it with all the cute cat accesories you can find. Then you will come to me red eyed, from itching if not from tears, nose running and covered in hives. I will console you in your misery and be sad withyou when you chose to give away your treasured kitty. I won't even say "I told you so."

I won't need to because I am will have already said it - right here in this post 20 years earlier!!!

 

Frank, A Happy Sea World Employee

Once you get past the fact that the water splashed on you is full of fish poop, Sea World is great!

This is what my mom said as she gave Brad season passes for our little family on Father's Day. Basically she is right.  The water that Shamu and the beluga whale spray one you is full of 'fish poop' - where else would it go? 

Going to Sea World has been great fun with a toddler. Thanks to the season passes we can head to San Antonio around 2pm on Sunday and arrive roughly at 3pm, which offers a great time frame for napping, and enjoy the evening shows. We don't worry about trying to fit it all in and see everything - we just go with the flow and take our time.

This past visit Kate and I enjoyed the kiddie park while Brad saved seats for one of the shows...the one where the guys does his funny water stunts for half and hour before the show. It's our favorite!

In the kiddie area I met Frank. Frank works for Sea World. His job is to sit in front of the canvernous opening to the toddler foam room. The room has netting for walls, a floor that is squishy and lots of huge foam shapes covered in vinyl - like you find at Gymboree.  So there sits Frank in his high-end wheelchair complete with joystick and attached remote control. He holds a round counter thing in his left hand that he clicks each time a person steps down into the playarea. I can only assume that the counter is to give the Sea World Corp an indication of how popular the "attraction" is among this age group. Someone in the Sea World Corp should also note that Frank clicked his counter each time Kate stepped down the steps - which was about 7 times. Kate was a little indecisive that afternoon.

Fitting Room Conversations Overheard

"what are you eating? Don't you know you shouldn't eat sh*t you find on the floor!?!" - a young mother said to her toddler.............. "do you really think this looks good with all my fat hanging out?" "well, it's not like you have anyone to impress." - conversation between young couple............. "oh my! My bum looks way bigger than your in these pants.&quota "your butt is supposed to be bigger-your older than me,mom." - a mom and her pee-teen............ "baby, don't open the door yet -mommy is naked.&quota - this was me talking to kate....it was met with giggles from several stalls

it raining, Mommy! - No baby, mommy is sweating.

I have spent most of this weekend running around my house with my arms above my head hoping that the sweat pouring from my armpits would evaporiate quicker.

At one point kate said "mommy it is rainning!"

I replied "no honey, that is mommy's sweat dripping form her elbows."

Our AC went out last Thursday - that would be five nights and six days prior to this moment. At first I was calm. We slept misrebly in the humidity.

We stayed at my moms for the first night which was great until Kate threw up for the third time and i realized her wilted look was more than horrible allergies. So there i am in my moms house with no clothes to wear since ALL of the clothes I packed were covered in vomit.

the next day was oppressive. sticky hot and all three of us layed on the bed trying not exert any extra energy, like breathing for instance. there was no wind. the doctor announced that kate had yet another virus which was not a repeat of a previous virus but brand spanking new one! Thankfully the virus coupled with allergies made kate sleep hard as a rock unlike her mom and dad who went crazy not being able to sleep AT ALL. I swear we were being steamed alive. At 3:45 am I was on the internet looking for ways to keep cool in extreme heat. we had a "swamp cooler" which is really just a big fan that blows air over ice water... bowels of ice in various areas of the bedroom ... a spritzer water bottle that we took turns spraying... and a wet towel at the foot of the bed. Supposedly if you cool the feet it brings your body temp down.

i woke up about 8:25am and realized I had actually gone to sleep and that I was cool as a cucumber. grinning at my nifty survival skills and proud that I had taken care of my family, I slid out of bed to take a shower before the monsters woke up, I mean family. I turned on the tv while I dressed in non vomit covered clothing and listened to some overly cheerful blonde talk about the weather. She mentioned a cool front that had moved in later than anticipated... it rolled right over austin at about 4:00 this morning.

so much for survivor woman.

that day and evening were beautiful and the days that followed were ... managable. until today. my arms are stuck to the desk as i type and the drizzle outside feels like warm bathwater. yes, drizzle. which means we are not playing outside in the mud hole that is awaiting grass. the AC guy should be here with the new unit which brought hope to my morning but has cast a fowl mood over my afternoon.

it is 2:50pm and there is no truck in the drive way or frigid air blowing through my duct work. nope. only a very bitter lady blogging about how angry she is that she is missing her 3pm hair appointment. when i called brad to let him know that the guy had not come yet I asked him what we needed to do if I had to leave for my appointment - he actually uttered these words :

"well, whats more important to you?" 

He actually said it.

At that point I prayed for Jesus to help me in the self control dept. because I was about to reach through the phone and beat my husband on his smoothly shaved head.

***this was written May 13th, 2008. Posted at a later date ***

would like some tea ms.nesbit?

we have been watch toy story quite a lot lately. Kate likes to run and flop her belly onto the swing - causing her to "fly" whith her body rigid straight and her arms stretched out ...

yelling "to enfinity and beyond!" of course.

I downloaded some of the pitcures i have taken on my iphone since january and everytime I see this picture I swear I can hear her say "would you like some tea Ms Nesbit?"

orange is the most bestest color ever

although many colors have threatened to win my heart they have all paled in comparision to the lovely hue of orange.

it is a pity that this inspiring color looks hiddeous on my body but it is true. So the color will remain banished from my closet - but stain my studio walls.

Kate has taken a liking to my favorite hue. the painting onthe paper was not nearly half as fun as the painting she did on her face. absent mindly she smeared paint while rubbing her nose - which led to deliberate face painting.

after seeing her image in the mirror she assume the role of a tiger. the rest of the day was lived out in character. she growled instead of speaking ...lapped her juice form a bowl and chased unsepecting peopel who unwittingly walked on our grass.

"front yards are for dancing"-k8 the gr8

Brad and Kate have been spending time in the front yard lately. Mostly because the backyard is just a bunch of dirt. the front yard on the other hand has turned into a lush grassy area under our crooked Dr.Seuss tree.

As we backed out of the driveway a few days ago Kate said "Look Mommy Look! thats for dancing and for daddys!"

slightly puzzled i asked "what is for dancing and daddys?"

She began pointing (which looks more like she is repeatedly poking at the air) and said "over there with the grass and...um.. the trees...and ummm... the ants."

"Oh, you mean the front yard is where you and daddy sing and dance?"

"Sure. thats my front yard for dancing and daddy." she stated as if she was relieved that i had finally listened to what she was saying all along.

It is true. That little front yard is for her and her daddy. Whether it be water the grass (or Kate) or washing the car or playing guitar.... that is their space. Even the neighbor across the street confessed to watching this father daughter play time. She said it was so sweet and better than watching TV.

Yes, I value this time too. This is when I take a nap!

rite of passage: getting caught playing with mom's lipstick

yes, it stained her face and she looked like Bozo the Clown all day.

continue to reading to see the first caught in the act picture.

***warning: i am about to type the word POOP***

so it is time for a POOP story.

Hear ye, hear ye! It has been almost two months without diapers! (cheers and applause)

Kate has done a fabulous job of potty training despite all the complaining I may do. I think she actually potty trained backwards. She began with dry nights and naps and worked up to using the little potty. At our house she like to use the little soft seat the sits on the regular toilet which is great until mommy is in a hurry and doesn't look before she sits down. Kate has done great about telling us when she needs to go - like the other day when she yelled "POTTY" in the middle of Home Depot. It was like yelling Go! at the beginning of a race - we ran to the back of the store and around the corner and then back the other way... (note to Home Depot: you bathroom is the most difficult thing to find in your store)

Pooping has been the most frustrating part of the whole process. Kate started hiding early on to poop. Under tables, desks, in closets, behind the couch... any where she could fit. It was always the sign to grab her and take her to the potty. Often time she refused to poop once you got  to the potty. Kate could wait about the three days to poop and then when I would drop her off at the Kids club in the gym so mommy could exercise, Kate would crawl up into the playscape and do her business. They don't change kids or take them to the potty at the gym so my name was called over the intercom to come get her....

This passed weekend I spotted Kate looking shifty so I took her to the bathroom. She was not thrilled. When she jumped down off the toilet and looked in she smiled! Thrilled she said "mom look my poops a tree!" signing TREE as she told me. She was so excited she ran to the front door and yelled at her daddy who was water the lawn " Daddy - I did it! Pooped a tree!" Stifling a laugh he congratulated her but the scene was far from over. She then waved him over saying " come see Daddy, come see my TREE!"

I am in tears from trying not to laugh at this point. Brad's face is turning red as he looks to me for help "do I have to?"  Yes, I nodded, you do.

Ever since then Kate has pooped quite nicely in the potty. She is a skilled tree maker. Whenever I think it might be time to go to the bathroom I ask her "Do you need to make a tree?"

Oh Kate - may you make a forest of trees in your lifetime!

pure genius

  With 2008 looming on the horizon and the pressure to set goals and project our future, Brad and I took some time to educate Kate in a few essentials of life. Thanks to my iPhone I was able to document Kate learning the fine art of Spitballs. I forsee amazing things for my daughter's future. I was quite thrilled to find a preschool program that offers scholarships for gifted toddlers. I can not wait to fill out the Talents and Hobbies portion of her enrollment form.

table topper

broken record. thats what Kate will call me when I am old and she recounts her toddler years. In the short time I was home this afternoon I must have said  Kate, we don't sit on the table a billion times!  I am sick of my own voice. At one point I looked at Kate who was squeezing her little body in front of me and onto the table to eat what was left on my plate and I her Why is this so difficult?! 

She copied me and repeated Why?Why? Mommy, Why?  Granted, I have been slightly subject to stress lately but I was having a hard time understanding why this was such a frustrating battle. Then it occurred to me. Maybe it wasn't Kate who was failing to get it - maybe it was me obsessing over something non-essential. It could be possible that in my effort to reign in my little wild thing and create some new consistant boundries, that I had taken for granted whether some of those things I demanded were worth the battle. Did I even have a reason behind what I was asking of her?  After all who said you could not sit on the table? Honestly - it is my favorite place to sit. Tables, bars, cabinet tops - even atop washer and dryers. In my tween years I would hoist myself up on to the counter and chat with my mom while she cooked.There is also the fact that we have a table without chairs. We have benches which we allow Kate to stand on while she is eating. This seems to causes my father-in-law great anxiety. 

Pondering all of this in my mind I threw my hands up in the air and proclaimed There are bigger battles to fight!  Later that evening I gave Kate a Jr Bacon Cheeseburger and sat her on the edge of the kitchen table, where she gleefully swung her legs and chomped her burger. I decided to perche myself next to her on the table. Brad, who was digging around in the fridge, emerged and looked at us both with a very puzzled look. What are you doing? he asked. We veto-ed the No Sitting on the Table rule, I explained.

Shrugging his shoulders he said, OK.

quite possiblely the most awkward photo, ever.

"hey, kate. Go stand next to fence where daddy cut those trees down..."

"ok"

this was the result.

I am not sure if it is a really bad pose or if she is holding her breathe or what. it makes my uncomfortable just looking at it.

Note to Self: Don't assume she knows to lick the spoon

I now realize that not everyone naturally knows what to do when handed a spoonful of chocolate brownie batter. It seems that Kate would rather practice her sharing skills rather than devour the chocolaty goodness.

bitten

Kate's confusion about what is ediable and what is for play continues...

Earlier this week a potatoe went from pantry to playroom and I believe now has become a pet. Speaking of our Spud-Bud, which is his new name, Kate is putting him to sleep right now. Apparently potatoes take late afternoon naps.

To add to her complete confusion Katertot, being the pure genius that she is, tried to eat my Fall decorations. As you can see it took her a few bites to figure out that it wasn't bad tasting fruit but plastic styrofoam. I decided it was a great visual representation of life at our house that I am not going to replaced the mangled items but leave them on display. It was be a reminder that what looks like a pumpkin is very likely not a pumkin but beutifully carved and painted styrofoam. 

forget sticks and rocks, lets play with Potatoes!

this has been Kate's favorite toy for the past week. yes, that is a potatoe. A spud-bud. Because obviously her father and I do not buy her adequate age appropriate toys she felt the need to create playthings with food from the fridge.

We were cleaning up the playroom when Kate picked up the potatoe from the pot she was pretending to 'cook' it in earlier that day and placed it on the bookshelf. At first it rolled off the shelf and fell at her feet. After a few seconds of looking at the fallen spud between her feet, she pushed the books back and place the potatoe back onto the shelf. This time her hand lingered a little to be sure it would stay. This is when I realized the line between food item and treasured play thing had been crossed.

Thank goodness her birthday is coming. I hope to kidnapp the spud during all the birthday comotion and trash it before it sprouts.

date night is for the birds

After weeks and weeks of living with or maybe accurately put = sleeping beside my husband I arranged for a date night. The idea was to "re-connect" or "spend time together" that didn't include paint or mickey mouse. No Kate and no to-do list. My friend Special-K graciously offered to help out any way she could during the move, so I called her up and said "HELP!" 
By the time we left Saturday night waiting lists were in full swing at all the restraunts and we had missed the show times for the only two movies I wanted to see. This made Brad happy since one was a complete chic-flick and the other was 3 hours long with Brad Pitt in the lead role.
So there we are driving around wonder what we should do in the couple of hours we had. Brad suggested a few things which I squashed one whiny reply:
"We can do all of those things with Kate - this is our night out and we have to find something to do that we can't do with Kate around. What can we not do with Kate?"

Brad's reply:
"Go to a chicken farm?" 

*in case you are slow like me, he was referencing Kate's egg allergy.

We laughed our way to CHUY'S for margaritas and creamy jalapeño dip.

my kid, thats who.

today gigi offered kate a bowl of ice cream for an afternoon snack. she turned up her nose to the ice cream and requested an avocado which she ate in it's entirety!

what kid does that?!

baby crack

Finally, something to give babies to ensure that they become addicts, of some sort! If you are pregnant or childless or your children were born after the era of puffed food, let me explain.
Those in my generation have been concerned with the prospect of children with no vices.
Long gone are the days of peanut butter sandwiches and whole milk, which as you know leads to the consumption of Cheeto's and Dr. Pepper. Logically this would stifle many children's future opportunity to become addicted to caffeine from coke and coffee due to the large consumption of bottled water early in life. Therefore depleting the demand for other addictive substances such as nicotine, weed, and crack. This would radically change the horizon of our future and everything we know to be true.

Children who have been fed organic foods and a variety of fruits, vegetables and soy in it's various forms are less likely to indulge in triple chocolate cakes. These children are healthier and stay active through out their lives. They tend to live longer and regard food as a source of energy rather than a coping mechanism for the stress of life.

What is the world coming to? This new trend in childhood nutrition is a serious threat to our current lifestyle. Thank goodness for baby food producers that recognize the dangers of the recent movement to reasonable portions and less processed food. Puffed food is now available to entice your child's appetite and create a infant addiction that is unprecedented.  Bite-sized puffs that melt in your mouth are available for the youngest child and require no chewing or teeth to consume.

As seen in the picture, it's addictive nature is quite obvious. Known on the streets as 'baby crack', puffs meet both nutritional needs as a healthy snack and yet gives the feeling of satisfaction, similar to that of happy meal fries.
I am proud to say my child has consumed over 25 containers of this insatiable snack in her short 22 months of life. Thank you processed baby food producer, you make the world a better place!

toungue-painting is the new finger-painting

I pick-up some watercolors at the store the other day thinking it might be time to get messy. I have tried to not do extremely messy projects since staying with mom because my idea of clean-up varies from hers.  Not that I am uncleanly or that my mom is a drill Sargent, just different ideas of clean-up and how and when it should be done. Bottom line I get stressed about it and I always seem to miss something. Which of course is the first thing a mom spots when she walks in is the thing you miss. It's not her fault, it's the curse of motherhood. I already do the same thing to Brad and Kate. In effort to keep my clean-up to a minimum I have been using Crayola's Color Wonder markers and finger-paints that only work on special Color Wonder paper.

While shop I have a weak moment and grabbed the watercolors. All the way home I daydreamed about how Kate and I would use our paintbrushes to create beautiful whimsical paintings. It was one of those "everything is in slow motion with moving music in the background" type of day dreams. Reality looked a little more like this: Load upbeat toddler music in the background mixed with Magnum P.I. and Kate screeching because I wouldn't let her have the cup o water to pour all over the paper.

Kate actually did pretty good with the brush but didn't like having to dip the brush in the water between strokes. She would actually tell the brush to 'Color!' as if it was slacking off on it's job. Eventually she discarded the rebellious brush and used her fingers. At the point I decided to wet the paper and let her apply the color which would spread out o the damp paper.  As I walked to the sink to rinse out the cup of water and useless brush I congratulated my self on being so innovative. I glanced back at the table to revel in the picture of my daughter watercoloring and saw that she had now decided her tongue was a way better tool for applying paint. Her face was hovering over the paint set while her tongue touched each of the colors in a row, her arms straight out balancing her and dripping with watercolor.

I let out a big sigh and smiled. Then I turned toward the laundry room, this would require a lot of paper towels.

learning the art of a swirlie

when you tell your toddler it is time to go to the potty- go straight to the potty. No detours.

I remembered that there was no toilet paper in the her bathroom so I stopped to get some from my bathroom while she ran full speed ahead.

this is how I found her. Flushing.

Praise God her leg did not go down the hole and get stuck!

Mickey Mouse Plays Golf

Father's day was quite busy for us this year. For reasons unknown to me, many scheduled events collided and all of them decided this Sunday was the best day for them. After round one of church, lunch and various obligations Brad, Kate and I return home to rest of for round two of exciting events and happenings.

Within seconds of entering the air conditioned apartment, which is utter chaos and half packed in boxes, Brad was moaning the recliner because Nascar was not on any of the channels we get and I was checking my email. I was dissappointed to find that checking my email is not restful in the least bit.

I could tell Brad was watching golf by the way the sports announcer was using his 'fake whisper voice' and all the deafening silence. thats when Brad errupted in laughter. Not at all amused by my eamils I jumped up to see if people were golfing naked. Admit it, you would laugh if they were!

Kate stood in the middle of the room pointing at the TV and because Brad was too busy snorting to tell me what was so funny, I ask Kate what she was pointing at.

"Micky Mouse" she replied and pointed again to the screen. There in all his glory was Tiger Woods wearing a white baseball hat. Obviously my child needs a little more culture in her life.

 

stop that racket

I have decided to spend more time outside. Despite the bugs and the sweating, I really enjoy the warm weather.  Expect I hate muggy rainy hot days, which is all we have had lately.  I have been struggling to get my self outside at all.  By the time I get home I have made sucha  huge to-do list in my head that I feel the need to get to all the little tasks around house right away before they eat me alive. What usually happens is I sit downt o write out a to-do list and check my email simueltenously. I don't need to check my email since I just left work an hour before where I checked it as I was leaving but I am compelled to. It a strange fear that I might miss something or not feel connected to the world outside...

Work email is easier to ignore it's my gmail and facebook and myspace that are calling to me and I have no will power to stop, so i check it and then get sucked into the abyss of the interenet.  My to-do list never gets done and Kate learns how to use instant messanger rather than house to serve imaginary tea to her teddy bear. Yes, this is is a problem. So, I deleted my myspace and facebook account. If you would like to talk with me - you can click on the comment link or email me. Wow it is freeing.

I still feel pulls in by my email and blog but I fight back by going out on the patio to play with Kate, I time myself so i don't think about what time it is or how long I have played. I set the timer and a I am free to play until the beeper goes off. It is an amazing freedom to just let go and play!

While on the patio this week I heard a little voice say "Hey baby, stop that racket."  Hmmm the four year old upstairs must also be utlizing her patio. "Stop that racket , baby, can you hear me. stop that racket."  She sounds more like a little cratchy old woman than a four year old. " stop that racket i say."

Kate, disreguarding her demands of course, goes to the patio bars and yells, "HI. Where you?" and so goes the conversation. No new words just the same question and demand back and forth.

Finally I say, " I can see your toes little girl."

Silence. "Can you see my arm too?"

Thats when i snapped this picture. I call it The Arm of A Future Crabby Woman.

texas lovin'

This pic is from December. I took it while Brad was puting new latches on our cabinets. this is the reason we need latches.

the runaway

A trip tp HEB is always full of adventure but this last one was especially interesting.
Kate hates to sit int he basket for more than 5 minutes these days. She stands up and says/signs "SIT."
We always tell her to 'sit' when she stands in her highchair or shopping cart, but now i wonder if she thinks 'sit' is what you say when you stand-up.
A few times I let her down from the cart to practice walking beside the cart. Yes, this makes me sound like a great mom who is training my child and taking the time to show her how to be included in the shopping adventure. The reality is that I put her on the ground and she runs a million miles and hour in whatever direction she is facing.  Takeoff after her reaching for her hand trying to calmly repeat "Hold mommy's hand."  I say this mostly to alert the other adults in the store that she is running in their direction and will trip or plow into them if they down look up.  I also talk loud enough for other parents to hear so that it seems as if I have everything in control. I don't.
Kate is thankfully obsessed with pushing the cart. She stand behind it and pushes with all her might. She has no thought to direction and couldn't see even if she had the desire to steer the cart. It has be come a fun game for Brad and I. We turn the corner and line th cart of up int he center of the isle and let her push. As she goes full speed ahead Brad and I throw in groceries, Kate doesn't believe in slowing down much less stopping!
During or adventure we stumbled upon a discovery - Mini Bananas! They are tiny little bananas. Unfortunately they were all a little squishy fro so many people touching them.
To wards the end of our adventure Kate became unreasonably restless so Kate and I went to the car to play. Kate spent the next 20 minutes leaning over her car-seat practicing buckling the very hard seat belt. At the end of 20 minutes Brad had arrived to load the back area with groceries. All of the sudden a few cars int he parking lot start honking. I look up just in time to see Brad sprint down the Parking lot after our shopping cart. Obviously the pop tarts were a little heavier than expected and gave the cart just the right amount of motivation to make it a runaway.


Bottom line: HEB is exhausting and shopping carts need breaks!

tastes like chicken

Kate added a new word to her vocabulary last week. 'CHICKEN'

After finishing her taquitos she said " More Chicken Please." and signed MORE, PLEASE along with her verbal request. I was so thrilled to her little voice string three words together, not to mention signing as well. I replied, "YES Kate you can have MORE...."

I paused as I reached for the taquitos realizing she had asked for CHICKEN and began to laugh out loud. She was eating BEEF taquitos. The first time she ever used the word CHICKEN and she was really eating BEEF.

Now for the next dilemma. How will Kate respond to the sign for CHICKEN. The most common way to sign chicken when your eating is to use the sign for BIRD. I wonder what she will think when I point to her chicken nuggets and then use my fingers to make a beak open and closing near my mouth?

If Kate freaks out and decides to go vegetarian, she may have to go live with her Aunt Rach.