lately it seems the more I have to say the less i can blog. i often think I am being over considerate of those around me, not blogging to protect someones feelings or for the sake of what they might think. i think most of the truely great blogger are just so much more open, honest, and probably friendless. lets face it. what prevents me from being an awesome blogger is my concern for others and my spelling grammer writing skills.
I have been working through an issue over the past few weeks that, yet again, I have not been able to blog about until now. mostly because i often am not open to input. i liek to TELL you about my life and what did and thought about it. i am not really the type to ask, "so what do you think?" because i want to really know what I think first.
now I don't have to be so considerate because kate's last day of school is today. we have decided to take her out of preschool and have her at home at least through the new year. i didn't plan on blogging about this but the director didn't even ask me why - and I have this whole thing rehearsed and ready to share...
someones gotta hear it - or maybe not. it doesn't really matter. the decision was based on it not being a good fit for kate (teacher/class). there are lots of different things that came together to make this decision - but in the end the teacher is a good teacher and kate is a great student, and the school is a wonderfull little school...but somehow that was enough.
so here I am packing for a week long conference in New Orleans and thinking about how I am leaving a working mom of a kid who goes to pre-school and I will come back and be the working mom of a stay at home preschooler. It sounds like a little change but it will be BIG for me. I have no doubt in my mind that it is the right decision - absolutley 100% needs to happen.
but honestly there is a part of me that is sad because I really liked this schedule. For me personally I couldn't have asked for a better little arrangement - office processing work in the mornings, afternoons with kate and housework, evenings with Brad and family, nights and weekends on photoshoots. I really felt balanced. Now I have to find new balance and rearrange.
Normally I love change - I love it and seek it out. this time I am a little reluctant. In the end it will be great, Kate is at such a wonderful age and it is just another season not forever.
I may be blogging more - i will both have more to blog about as well as more words to use up.
to close i will list the things about preschool I will not miss:
- the long list of rules for lunches; nothing that need heating or fridge, nothing with red, blue or purple dye, no desserts or candy, no metal silverware, no tuna (teacher request), no messy items (teacher request), something from all the food groups, has to be packaged in a way children can open them without help...etc. (i understand the why but good gravey. bring on the pizza and microwaved raviloi!)
- having to wear close toes shoes to school everyday, no sandles.
- kate getting in trouble for going UP the slide - we will find our own abandoned slide and go up and down backwards
- flyers! the endless flyers about everything. booksales, teacher appreciation, donations, handbook policy etc. I get less mail in my mailbox!
- school picture. not just picture day but stress of remembering pic day and dressing her in something other than playclothes, getting the FLYER with the aweful photo and then asked why i am not buying one...um, A) i'm a photographer. it's what i do. B) this is a horrible photo of my child on a wooden bench with a giant fake tree behind her and you want me to pay for it.
- All the requests to come in and volunteer or help out. I want to be involved. really, i do. but somewhere in between all the holidays (which by the way christian school think it's ok to add and extra off day to all the religious holidays because...we need more time to be religious?!?) half-days, special activities parent are invited to and volunteer days...I am actually supposed to LEAVE my child with you.
- parking lot. there is nothing scarier than a preschool parking lot. in elementary kids have a least a tiny bit more awareness. in preschool it is just a huge concrete slab of moving cars, wandering 3 ft children and mom's on their cell phones. I hate the new cell phone laws but I also almost got rear-ended twice this week! I am so nervious, especially with how high the jeep is, that i park in the field across the street.
ahhh, feeling much better.
